A Time of Peace
by Rdr-Wrtr
Summary: A Time of Peace is set right after the epilogue of Lady Knight (which is included at the beginning of chapter 1). This fic is an in-depth analysis of the progression of Kel, Dom, Neal, and Yuki's lives after the end of the quartet. I'm trying to keep as canon as possible and as in-character as possible. CHAPTERS UNDER REVISION. But, there is an UPDATE COMING SOON.
1. Epilogue and Chapter 1: New Hope

**A/N:** Up until the first separator is just the epilogue from the book. Much thanks to my beta, Lionesseyes13, and to Loten. I plan on writing a lengthy tale. This time, I will regularly update.

Enjoy,  
>Rdr-Wrtr<p>

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><p>Taking one last look around her, Kel swung herself into Hoshi's saddle. After two months of work, the fortified town of New Hope still looked raw, but it was starting to resemble an actual town rather than a logging camp thrown together in a week.<p>

The sight of cart after cart bringing their hard-earned harvest to the storage barns filled her with profound satisfaction. Not for the first time, she blessed Lord Raoul for waiting until the crops were in before he set his wedding date. She wouldn't have been able to enjoy herself at Steadfast if her people had still been in the fields. With the crops taken care of, she could feast with a carefree heart.

"Stop fussing," Fanche commented. She stood near Kel, hands on hips, her dark eyes amused as she looked up at the younger woman. "You'll be away for a week – if we can't manage for that long, what good are we?"

Kel grinned at New Hope's headwoman. "Actually, I was trying to remember if there was anything I hadn't done. Shutters left open –"

"Shutters closed," said Tobe, mounting a small, spritely, piebald mare who had taken a liking to him in Scanra. The greatest change the events of June had made in him was that he no longer trusted Kel out of his sight unless they were inside New Hope's walls. Kel understood and hoped he would relax as the winter's snows made it impossible for either of them to go very far.

"Shutters closed, bed made up, leave-behind weapons and armor cleaned," Tobe continued to rattle off. "Don't have to worry about feedin' your animals because they're comin' along with us. Duty rosters for the week in Master Terrec's hands." Terrec was the clerk who had taken Zamiel's position.

"She's fussing, isn't she?" Merric strolled out of headquarters, his hands tucked comfortably in his breeches pockets. "You women are forever fussing."

Things with their fighters had reached the point where occasionally Merric would let a sergeant command a patrol rather than do so himself. Today was Sergeant Jacut's day to patrol with his squad of intermingled former convicts and men of the town.

While there had been no official attention paid to Kel's Scanran journey, a week after her return, the silver marks on the convicts' foreheads had faded, a sign that someone somewhere had decided they were pardoned. As mistrustful as Tobe in their own way, they had elected to remain with the army in the north with Kel. Merric's staying in town while a convict squad patrolled showed all of New Hope that he trusted them not to return to their criminal habits.

"I'm not fussing," Kel retorted. "And where's Neal?"

Neal came racing up to them, windblown and hands only partially cleaned of blood. "I'm sorry! I don't tell babies when they're allowed to get born."

"Neal," Kel said as he reached for the horse Loesia held for him.

Neal looked at her, his green eyes feverish. He was in a hurry to get to Steadfast. His betrothed, Lady Yukimi, was there. Like Raoul's betrothed, Buriram, Commander of the Queen's Riders, Yuki had tired of waiting for her man to return south. As soon as the celebrations for Prince Roald's wedding to Princess Shinkokami had ended, Buri had resigned her post as commander, to be replaced by her assistant commander, Evin Larse. Together she and Yuki had bought passage on the first ship north, then traveled overland to Steadfast.

"Your hands," Kel pointed out as Neal simply blinked at her.

He looked, saw they were not entirely clean, and released a sound that was a cross between an anguished cry and a wail. Back into the infirmary he went.

"If he's like this now, how will he stay calm when his daughter tries for her knighthood?" A youthful voice asked.

Kel looked down at Irnai. The seer girl was one of several homeless children who had come to live in headquarters with Kel, Neal, Merric, and Tobe. She did her best to act like a normal child of her age, but when she foresaw things, she sounded as world-weary as Neal at his most sophisticated.

"Perhaps we won't share that knowledge with him just yet?" suggested Kel. "Let it be a surprise for him."

"He doesn't like surprises, and the road of his life is littered with them. I like that." Irnai grinned up at her.

Kel couldn't help it; she grinned at the child. "I do, too," she admitted. "It will be good for him."

Neal came back, hands dripping wet and clean. He flung himself into the saddle and raked his hair back from his eyes. "I'm ready," he declared. "Let's go."

Kel led the way with Neal on one side, and Jump on the other. People waved as Kel and Neal rode by but immediately returned to their work, putting on roofs and shutters, making the nails, preserves, and kindling New Hope would need to see them through the winter.

Passing through the gate, Kel waved at Sergeant Adner, who now commanded the village guard. He waved in reply. "Bring back some pretty, meek girls," he called. "Ours is too quarrelsome."

Agrane, whom he was courting when he was off duty, elbowed him.

"Enjoy your holiday, Lady Kel," Irnai called as they rode down the inclined road that served the village. "There will be work for the Protector of the Small soon enough."

Kel shook her head. No matter what she did, she couldn't stop people from calling her that.

She let her guard escort, Neal, and Jump ride ahead as they crossed the Greenwood's Bridge. She looked north. The dark, high ground of Haven, now their burial ground, lay two miles upriver, too far from New Hope for an enemy to use it as an attack base.

She had also asked Numair if he could raise the ground they would need forty feet rather than twenty, to put off all but the most determined attackers. This time Numair had kept his health and shared the work with Harailt of Aili and a few other mages who had responded to his call for assistance. Lord Raoul had confided that Kel should ask for all the extra help she needed. Giving her all she asked, within reason, was a kind of silent apology from the Crown for putting her people in harm's way.

Kel turned Hoshi to look up at New Hope's walls. She thought the battle flags and shields taken from those Scanrans who had attacked her people that summer gave the walls a nice, homey touch. They also served as a warning to any raiding parties that New Hope had teeth.

"_Kel!"_ shouted Neal. "Are you going to dream all day? She's waiting for me!"

Lovers, Kel thought, rolling her eyes. At least there was one headache she _didn't_ have. She was about to tell her friend he could wait when she remembered that she'd get to see Dom while at Steadfast. It would be nice to be able to sit and chat for a while without kidnapping, flight, and war to distract them.

She nudged Hoshi to a trot.

* * *

><p>When they finally arrived, Steadfast was as breathtakingly organized as all the other times Kel and her friends had been there. They were greeted by the current captain of the watch, a blue-eyed sergeant Kel had missed dearly – Domitan of Masbolle. He waved down to them with a broad smile on his face, one that melted Kel's heart.<p>

As a page and squire, and even at the very beginning of her knighthood, Kel had thought herself fickle. During that time, her affections had passed from Neal to Cleon, but whenever she'd been around Dom, her attraction to the others had faded. When she'd first gotten over her crush on Neal, she'd felt guilty. When Cleon met her on the way to Scanra and the war, she had likewise felt ashamed that she had lost interest in him so quickly.

In the time since then, she had experienced a revelation: when close to Dom, she had to forcefully remind herself of the current object of her affections and squash her feelings for Dom, while her feelings for Neal and Cleon had passed all on their own. That said, she had never needed to remind herself of her – dare she think it? – _love_ for Dom. Or, more precisely speaking, the reasons behind that love.

More and more in the months since her Scanran adventure, she found herself thinking of all the ways he had ever been there for her, the way he was so supportive of her – even before he'd properly met her, he'd been on her side. And, though he'd been on orders, he'd crossed into enemy territory in the heat of war, chasing after her. She truly was grateful to him for that. Like his Meatheaded cousin, Dom had been her ally from the beginning.

She quickly waved back at him with her own heartwarming smile. This was going to be a wonderful holiday, indeed, and Kel was filled with eagerness for the upcoming days with Dom.

* * *

><p>As Tobe led their horses to the stables, Squire Owen appeared to show Neal and Kel to their usual rooms while Rengar led their guard escort to the soldiers' stables and barracks.<p>

The whole way to their rooms, Owen was his usual bubbly self. "Kel, you missed it! Eighty-odd raiders surrounded the fort yesterday, and my lord completely thrashed them. Sent them running from the hills. Well, the ones who survived, anyways. Seems our northern friends have lost their war stomachs now they don't have their accursed machines to hide behind!" He had barely paused to draw breath before Neal broke in.

"I thought we were only mentioning the new powerful mage when absolutely necessary?" Sir Nealan asked in what was a polite tone for him, but quite rude for others.

Owen allowed himself one rude gesture directed at the Meathead before turning to Kel, saying, "My Lord Wyldon is expecting you both for dinner tonight. Any reports you might have, unless absolutely urgent, may wait until tomorrow after breakfast. Good to see you, Kel." With that, Owen left them.

* * *

><p>Kel relaxed in her bath, welcoming the extended break her completely unscheduled afternoon left her. Had she still been at New Hope, she would have been on a work detail, sorting through reports, or, worst of all, settling disputes.<p>

The arguments among the original Haven refugees were dying out. However, with over two hundred more refugees than she'd previously had to deal with, her workload had more than doubled, because the newcomers caused as many problems with the older resident groups as they did amongst themselves. She couldn't complain too much, though. She knew that, just as the old refugees had, each set of newcomers would acclimate themselves to the New Hope way of life.

The almost-calm that descended once everyone had fallen into the work schedules, grown accustomed to the intense physical weapons' training, and gained that happier outlook that hard-worked-for achievement garners was invaluable to Kel.

During her page and squire years, Kel _had_ fantasized about leading companies of men into battle, but she had never really believed she would get the opportunity to actually lead anyone besides herself. She was startled to discover that she enjoyed life in New Hope – even with the losses she faced from time to time – even more than she had enjoyed palace life.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. "Lady Kel, are you in there?" Tobe's young voice called.

"Yes, I'm taking a bath, though. Give me a minute to get decent." Kel dressed quickly in shirt and breeches, and was about to open the door when she had a change of mind and donned one of the dresses Lalasa had had waiting for her.

Lalasa had decided to come with Buri and Yuki to oversee the garments branch of the wedding preparations, which also gave her the opportunity to request Kel's measurements during the Lady Knight's last trip to the fort to personally deliver reports to Lord Wyldon.

Lalasa had said then, "Wear these dresses to impress, milady." She'd smirked at Kel's indignant look and gone back to sticking her with pins.

Kel smiled to herself now as she slipped into the forest green gown, thanking the gods her path had crossed with Lalasa's so many years ago.

"_Kel!"_ Tobe called impatiently.

Kel sighed as she hurried to finish the last few lacings. "Just give me a moment, Tobe."

It was worth the look she got from him. "_Kel,_ you look like a _lady!"_ He was too stunned to say anything more.

Kel smiled as she remembered Owen's oh-so-similar reaction when he'd first seen Kel in a dress, although Tobe's was admittedly more flattering. For some reason being called a lady instead of a girl was immensely pleasing to her.

"Something was urgent, Tobe?" she gently reminded him.

He shook off his surprise and responded in a rush, "Milord Wyldon and his other guests await you for dinner."

* * *

><p>Tobe didn't bother to enter the dining room with her. Owen and Rengar would serve all the officers and other important people, including Neal, Dom, Numair, Daine, Wyldon, Buri, Yuki, and Raoul.<p>

When she walked in, most everybody was standing. Lord Wyldon spotted her first.

"Lady Knight." He bowed his head as he pulled out a chair for her.

Kel started to blush as everyone – even the officers with whom she was unacquainted – stared at her in wonder. It took a few coughs from Numair and Daine before the others remembered themselves and took their own seats.

They traded war stories and thanked the gods New Giantkiller had been finished, plugging one of the bigger holes in their line of defense against King Maggur's raiders. While Kel and her friends had destroyed his advantage by eliminating the killing machines from the equation, the war was far from over and the Tortallans still needed all the help they could get.

Raoul was particularly excited about the new fort. "At first, I was quite upset they named it after me, but it's kind of grown on me, and keeping the name sort of honors the fallen soldiers who were crooked enough to name it."

There were a few brighter parts to the meal. Talk of the upcoming wedding and the festivities planned around it lightened everyone's morale. Even in the middle of war, life must go on – maybe even _especially _during a war – and weddings often brought people together who were normally at odds.

Dom seemed to appreciate this fact the most. Leaning across Kel's left shoulder to talk to Neal with a mischievous smirk on his face, he goaded, "Speaking of weddings, when are you and Yuki going to tie the knot?"

Neal spluttered angrily for a few moments before finding his words again, leaning across Kel to get in Dom's face. "That is _our_ business and has absolutely nothing to do with you, Fruithead!"

Kel couldn't help laughing with the rest, including Yuki who had her shukusen over the lower half of her face, at Dom's apparent family nickname. "Fruithead and Meathead – what a pair!"

Both cousins turned to her with their best glares and then paid sole attention to their food. There goes Dom staring at me every chance he thought he could sneak in, thought Kel to herself.

Once they got to dessert, both Kel and Yuki stopped Neal, saying, "You didn't eat your vegetables!"

Neal scowled and stared longingly at their filled plates.

Dom laughed before saying, "Dear Protector of the Small, I hope you are as skilled with your sword as you are with your sharp words."

"Keep calling me that and I'll show you just how skilled I am."

Daine spoke up now. "You know, Kel, you're not the first person to dislike their title. Alanna _still_ gets mad when certain people call her the Lioness."

Apparently, Numair felt compelled to add his own gold noble to the matter. "Oh, yes, she is forever yelling at me for reciting the most recent ballads to her. I thought women _liked_ being sung to." He finished with a dramatic sigh.

There was a curious glint in Buri's eye as she spoke. "Most women do like being sung to, Numair – when it's actually a love song or something that will make them feel all warm and gooey on the inside. Singing to them about their military exploits isn't quite the same thing." Even Wyldon chuckled at that.

Kel stood to leave shortly after, but as she reached the door Dom called out to her. "Kel, we didn't agree on a time."

She turned around with an incredulous look on her face. "A time for what?"

"A time for you to show me how deftly you handle your blade." He spoke as if it should have been obvious.

"Oh, well, I have to report to Lord Wyldon after breakfast, but I suppose we could meet after that."

"I'll be waiting, dear Protector." Kel scowled and slammed the door behind her to much laughter on the other side.

Kel managed to return to her rooms later than she regularly did, but earlier than she expected she would have. For tomorrow at least, she had to rise at her usual time if she wanted to get any amount of training in – she was to spar with Dom for the short period before lunch, which didn't really count, _and_ Buri and Yuki had enlisted her to aid with the wedding plans after the noon meal. Apparently, they hadn't learned their lesson from Kel's limited help with the royal wedding arrangements that took place during her squire years.

Her thoughts shifted just as she was falling asleep. She couldn't help the fire that had spread through her heart and veins whenever Dom had spoken to her. She looked forward to sparring with him in the late morning. She fell into deep slumber with a faint smile on her lips and hope in heart once more.

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><p><strong>AN: **Chapter 1's title: "New Hope" was chosen because various characters are experiencing changes and are looking to the future. Raoul and Buri are getting married, Dom and Kel both want a relationship, Neal and Yuki will be getting married soon as well...you get the picture.


	2. Chapter 2: War Isn't All Bad, or Is It?

**A/N:** First off, I'm truly sorry this update was almost a week late from the original schedule. That shouldn't happen again as I've already started chapter three. Second, it's much longer than the previous chapter, so YAY! Third, this chapter underwent more changes than the first and none of the content is from the book, which makes it just that much longer than the last. Fourth, I would like to give much thanks and praise to my beta, Lionesseyes13. Lastly, I hope you all enjoy and REVIEW! :)

That's all,

Rdr-Wrtr

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><p>Kel rose shortly before dawn with an unfamiliar feeling – she was restful and at ease with the knowledge that she wasn't responsible for an entire town. For the duration of her stay, she was a guest, not a worker. It was nice to know she could do whatever she wanted, within reason, of course.<p>

For right now, though, she focused on getting up without disturbing Jump and the sparrows. Grabbing her Yamani glaive from where Tobe had stowed it the afternoon before, she began a moderate-level pattern dance and prepared her heart and mind for the day to come.

By the time she had completed several of the more difficult pattern dances, Kel's animals had awoken. Clamoring for her attention, they let her know of their hunger. Kel laughed to herself and set out the birds' seed. She cleaned her face and teeth with the water someone had brought while she'd been practicing then dressed in a comfortable shirt and breeches.

Kel knocked on the door connecting her and Tobe's rooms to let him know she was off to breakfast and he could do what he wanted for the day before leading Jump to the soldiers' mess.

Walking in to the mess, she saw a free spot in between Dom and one of his corporals, Wolset. Usually Kel used Roald's system of sitting with a different group for each meal, but, like Roald, she sat with her friends most often. However, this wasn't New Hope and she wasn't in command of these people – no one would care if she sat where she wanted here.

She grabbed a tray and thanked the cooks for each dish she was handed. As organized and efficient as Steadfast is, our New Hope cooks are quite a bit better, Kel thought with a wry smile. Their variety tops ours, though, that's for sure.

The breakfast rice was studded with almonds, raisons, and dried peaches. The buttery rolls were alternately filled with sweet and spicy sausage and various jellies. Hearty strips of bacon and eggs made to order topped the meal off.

Kel quickly made her way over to her friends. Their obliviousness was a testament to the cooks' talent. Even after she had sat down and begun pouring herself juice from the pitcher they still hadn't noticed her. She was beginning to be annoyed.

"Will someone _please_pass the salt!" she shouted, startling half the table.

Dom recovered first. "Good morning, Protector. Might I say you look particularly lovely on this fine day, although your evening wear, too, was…enticing."

"Enticing!" Lerant seemed peculiarly affronted. "And since when does the Lady Knight spend her nights with you?"

Kel sighed. She wasn't unused to people making such comments, but she thought her personal life was under less inspection amongst her friends, though she wasn't quite sure Lerant was a friend. "We weren't alone, Lerant. Lords Wyldon and Raoul as well as several others were present, including the Meathead. And what's wrong with me being alone with a member of the opposite sex?" she added as an afterthought.

Lerant seemed at a loss for words, as did all the men at the table. Daine and Buri, who were sitting with Dom's squad, had their wits about them. The two women exchanged knowing looks . Their silent conversation went something like this:

_Just like it happened with me._Daine started off.

_Oh, no,_Buri corrected with a hint of mischief in her eyes. _It'll be much worse for the Lady Knight. Most of these men thought she'd never be a knight. Now she's led some of them. She's spent time and shed blood and sweat with them. They've seen her as a woman for some time, though she was always off limits – either while with Cleon or just because Raoul thinks of her as a daughter._

_That can't be worse than having an overprotective black robe travelling with you across the country…can it?_

_Of course it can! Clearly they're capable of thinking of her as a strong warrior and as a typical airy noble girl at the same time. The real question is: Do you think she knows?_

Daine had to think for a moment. Buri's concern for the younger woman hadn't escaped her notice. She pursed her lips for a few moments before turning back to the older woman._No, I don't think she knows. Kel's a bright girl – she knows what most people think about her, and I think she believes her friends view her in a similar light, even if not so negatively._

Both women turned to Kel, then had to laugh at her dubious expression. Finally, Buri had enough. "Whatever are you staring at, Lady Keladry?"

Kel's look turned sour when the K'mir left out her military title. "You two just had a full conversation without even talking. It's a bit annoying. And it's Lady _Knight_Keladry, thank you very much. I fought hard for that title, and I expect it to be honored."

Numair, who was also dining with Dom's squad, found this particularly funny. "You think this is annoying? Better to hear no conversation than only half of one, I say." He smiled wryly at his wife. Daine blushed in return.

"You _know_I've always had trouble remembering to just speak with my mind to the People. It's only ever when the talk's embarrassing that I think to keep things physically silent and just use my mental links." She'd turned indignant by the end of her retort.

His expression softened as he gazed into her eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt, dear. I was just letting her know she has it easy."

"I think we've veered way off topic," Kel tried to rein everyone in. "I want to know what Daine and Buri were saying. And I want to know why you men folk seem to think I can't be alone with a member of the opposite sex."

Wolset piped up in an apparent wish to die. "Well, 'tisn't right for a woman to be alone with a man to whom she isn't married especially when the man has been in the Own for some time and garnered a bit of a reputation."

Baron George and his wife Alanna, the Baroness, of Pirates' Swoop walked up just as the corporal was finishing. The latter's steely violet eyes did their best to burn a hole through the middle of Wolset's head. "The ability of men to maintain so many double standards continues to astound me to this day," the angry knight began. "For instance, noble females are expected to go to convent like good little pawns, and not question anyone's authority; whereas, the menfolk are permitted to bed any creature they find with two legs. Women are expected to allow themselves to be victimized, but young men are encouraged to take up arms. And now, even now, when a Lady Knight has proven herself to be a better warrior than even some of her teachers –and a more honorable one, at that – she is expected to maintain a certain 'moral code' that the men are not held to. Really, it's amazing what the human mind can accomplish when it wants what it does and prohibits others from desiring any different." The Lioness finished with a scowl.

This implication angered Wolset, and he responded with his own gale force. "If we're to discard double standards, then perhaps you should participate, Sir Alanna. Not _all_ men have such limited viewpoints. Surely you must know that, or you wouldn't be married – a decision you made of your own free will – and you wouldn't have accepted the position as the King's Champion. What _I_ meant before was only that noble women should strive to keep themselves pure, because they typically marry noble men, sometimes even heirs, and the legitimacy of the future heirs these women would produce wouldn't be under speculation if the women are chaste in the time before they marry. As for the men in their lives, they should also hold to their duty – protect their female counterparts, and treat them with care, _not_ 'victimizing them' as you say, because they are above such treachery; although, I will concede that such does sometimes occur. It is simply the way of our world, and some things cannot be changed – though, certain city girls _are_ learning to defend themselves, thanks to Kel and Lalasa. So, again, I tell you that you, too, must let your preconceived notions go." It was only after his advocatory speech that Kel remembered Wolset's father was a magistrate.

Alanna, however, wasn't thinking of Wolset's parentage in so off-hand a manner. Right now, she was cursing the soldier in the three dialects she knew and understood: noble, knight, and city-dwelling commoner talk. Most of her anger was directed at the fact that Wolset had been right. She _did_ have some double standards of her own, just in the opposite form of her society, and she didn't normally employ such thoughts.

She was scared to think that she could be so biased and not even have realized it on her own. To think that someone else – a _younger_ man, at that – had to clue her in…well, she wasn't called the Lioness for nothing. She was instinctively rearing up in her glorious pride at what she considered an insult.

The knight responded with an even more intense glare, "Perhaps, and _only_ perhaps, you _may_ have a point." She smirked to herself. "Either way, you will feel my blade tomorrow." Alanna stalked off, leaving George behind.

Wolset was less confident after her threat. He looked helplessly at George for a few minutes, and still Wolset couldn't think of a way he could make it out of that alive. Indeed, he was unsure if there even was one; the Lioness was famed for her swordsmanship.

The others at the table were shell-shocked following the verbal war, and felt the earlier festive mood was ruined by this heavy mental food. George merely shook his head at Wolset with a pitying expression on his face.

Seeing that the conversation had hit a stalemate, and with a sudden lack of appetite, Kel decided to report to Lord Wyldon.

* * *

><p>Dom left the mess shortly after Kel. He didn't fully understand what had just happened, and it bothered him. Kel was a friend, a great one. Sure, he'd bedded his fair share of females, but he'd always considered himself a gentleman. It hurt him almost physically to learn that opinion could be and<em>was<em>wrong, and to know that something he'd unconsciously done, or thought, had caused Kel, or any other female, any level of discomfort.

He sped up his footsteps as he marched to his room. Dom was starting to feel extremely ill as he looked at his track record.

He'd bedded his first back when he was fifteen, a servant girl in one of the villages of Masbolle, where he'd spent the night after aiding the locals with that year's harvest. He had met with and talked to her the previous two summers, and on each visit they'd singled each other out. They both knew it wasn't love, but they both wanted not to be alone. Now he found he couldn't even remember her name. The knowledge further depressed him.

Since he'd met Keladry, he had made what he thought were drastic changes. Now he was seeing that wasn't quite so accurate. At eighteen, he'd joined the Own. Between his first and that time, he'd only been with two other girls. His first few years in the Own, he had bedded a nameless girl in almost every village and town, just as the other men, and also courted a few respectable women, which always led to more. He _had_ considered marrying one or two of them, but never actively pursued a serious relationship. Although, if he had, he was forced to admit that he most likely would have expected her to stay at Masbolle or the palace. The issue of an heir wasn't an issue for him personally, unless all his older brothers suffered unfortunate accidents or decided they didn't want to inherit; both scenarios were highly unlikely. Besides, none of those women had really appealed to Dom on a personal level; much like his cousin, he was only concerned with the surface appearance of the court flowers.

Then Meathead's letters stopped concerning whichever unattainable female he was pining after and began to include more and more details about Kel. When she was fourteen (and he was twenty-two), she became Raoul's squire. Like Dom told her then, he felt like he already knew her. The only flaw he could find with his informant was Nealan's words had done her no justice, as scholarly flourishing as they'd been.

As he was forced – not so unwillingly – to spend increasing amounts of time with her, her utter…_goodness,_for lack of a better term, compelled him to better himself. And he'd thought he had, with good reason, too – there were never justified grounds for him to consider else wise – until now.

All in all, the humorous sergeant was feeling incredibly downhearted. Here he had been, thinking he was more than a swell man, only to have to find out he was actually one of the worst, although not quite _the_ worst. He was having a bit of trouble wrapping his mind around all this. Realizing he had been nursing the backwards conservative ideologies he'd been shunning for years was a conundrum in of itself. Now he was obligated to reinvent his mental attitude.

Dom finally understood why so many men could bring themselves to join the feminist cause: no decent human being could excusably believe the women of their society were treated fairly. That same human would be bound on a moral level to help right this egregious wrong. Women across the known world were being viewed as second-rate citizens. Now more than ever, Dom truly appreciated all that Keladry's knight training, and consequential shield-winning, had accomplished for the women of their time.

It also occurred to him that the other women he'd fought with had that same inner strength. Alanna, Buri, Daine, and even the Queen, were all strong warriors in their own suit, with an honorable record attached to each of their names. Yes, in the past he had admired them, but now he realized that even as a friend to more than half of them, he hadn't really appreciated their worth amongst mankind. In general, they were each good people, besides their physical prowess. Dom pledged to himself that from now on, he'd give everyone the credit they deserved, men and women alike.

By now, he'd reached his quarters and was sitting on his bed, facing his one window. He turned his attention to the figure making its way to the practice courts. The figure moved with such grace and unassuming nobility that it had to be Kel. Her surprisingly long hair flowed down to her broad shoulders in a most flattering manner. He couldn't help admiring her. He smiled to himself as he considered her attractive build.

Kel's shoulders_were_wider than most women's, but still slimmer than a man's. They tapered done to a wonderfully narrow waist, and then flared out to a pair of blessedly wide hips. That wasn't all, though. Her hazel dreamer's eyes and sun-lightened, honey brown hair were positively lovely. All together, she was one very attractive lady knight.

Dom shook himself from his thoughts with a wry laugh and rushed to gather his sword and shield so he could meet the Protector for their friendly duel.

* * *

><p>The two fighters, male and female, circled each other hungrily. The blue-eyed, black-haired male laughed condescendingly towards the green-eyed, honey-haired female. She responded with a downwards feint and then a sideways cut to the male. He blocked her feint, but overcompensated and felt the kiss of her blade just below his ribs. It was a minor wound, but now he was mad.<p>

The male responded with a few slices of his own to her upper arms and thighs to the chant of half the crowd, "Dom! Dom! Dom!"

They continued to dance with their blades, dripping bucket loads of sweat, and blood. Neither noticed the roar of the crowd surrounding their intense circle. Amongst the spectators was a short, wiry woman with electric violet eyes. She smirked to herself as she saw the female's inevitable victory.

A few more minutes and the battle was over. The entire audience cried the female's name in excited triumph, "Mindelan! Mindelan! Mindelan!" over and over.

The female, more commonly known as Kel, grinned widely and reached to shake the male's hand. "I only won by a hair there, Dom. You really gave me a run for my money. Perhaps you'll cease doubting my…'prowess,' as you so cunningly put it?"

Domitan of Masbolle smiled in response. "Well, dear Protector, I do believe thou hath proven me quite mistaken. It's been a pleasure."

The pair walked out together, brushing off the flowering compliments they both received from their apparent fans. Before they could go too far, the amethyst-eyed knight stopped them. "I think I'd like a rematch, Kel. Our earlier duel was unfair to you, but I can see you now have more control over your weapon. It would be ever so nice to face a matched opponent."

Kel thought about it for a moment before responding, "Not today. I've already too many plans for a sane person. Maybe tomorrow afternoon, after you trounce my comrade, Lady Alanna?"

"That sounds fine by me, Lady Knight." Alanna the Lioness turned to Dom. "I hope my earlier words had an effect on you and I want you to know that _his_ words also had an effect on me."

Rightfully abashed, Dom's smile faded to a look of seriousness. "They did, Baroness. I had much time to think on them." He thought maybe the Lioness perceived his feelings for Kel – if that's what they were – and was trying to look out for her. It was the only reason he could think of that she'd single him out. After all, _he_ hadn't been the one to anger her earlier.

"Good. We'll talk more later." With that, she waved them off.

Kel and Dom separated to go to their respective rooms to wash and with promises to meet for a ride and picnic for lunch.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Next chapter will contain the picnic/ride/lunch and the rest of Kel's hectic day, including...the first part of the wedding plans. So, either chapter 4 or 5 will be the actual wedding, and then we can move back to New Hope to see just how well Kel's chicks can fare without their mother hen. Are the POv changes clear, or should I label them?

* * *

><p>Chapter 2's title: "War Isn't All Bad, or Is It?" was chosen because of the conflicting emotions and opinions within the chapter. Everyone was looking forward to the wedding (happening in the middle of a war) when, suddenly, this deep sociopolitical dispute breaks out. You already know how it's social, but how is it political? Lady Knights were outlawed over a hundred years ago; now they're back. The conservatives are fighting with the free-thinkers to this day, and 'women's rights' (or lack thereof) are still a big issue, just lightly touched upon in the debate. How does this affect everyone? Here they were, happy-go-lucky, but now they're forced to rethink everything they've known - even the pugnacious women, so there you go: It ain't all bad, or is it? The question has yet to be answered but it will be by the end of the fic.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3: Conscious and Renewal

**A/N:** Please note that as of yet, this chapter is unedited. I actually managed to make it more than three times the length of the first chapter, totaling more than 5,475 words, while triple the first chapter is only 5,451 words. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p>Alanna was fuming. She couldn't – wouldn't – talk to George, for he was agreeing with everyone else and that really put a bur under her blanket. A part of her was nagging at the rest; Alanna had grown up now. She'd been an adult for years; all her children were adults – even her sweet little Aly.<p>

It didn't matter that she knew her daughter was safe and happy and that she'd visited Aly in the Copper Isles and rubbed her pregnant stomach. Alanna missed her little girl, and this morning's debate wasn't helping her mood any.

She'd waved Dom and Kel off and watched everyone else trickle out to their various afternoon pursuits, but she herself remained. Sword in hand, she stalked over to the selfsame court Keladry and Domitan had used and started practicing. The unusual mixture of Shang methods with her more structured eastern fighting style was physically taxing, yet invigorating. Either way, it helped her lose herself and not have to focus on her anxieties.

The Lioness was getting old; she was not the same knight she once was. Oh, she was just as quick, mind you, but she'd picked up a few new tricks and lost her ability for some of the older ones. This was actually a good thing. It meant no one could ever really learn her style and none her opponents would know all of her secret moves.

Alanna smiled to herself as she thought of the techniques she could pass on to Keladry, and any other girls brave enough to try for their shields. The smile grew wider when she thought of the staff-like work Kel might show her with the glaive. Alanna just had to remember to ask – something she didn't much like to do.

About an hour passed before the first lady knight (still known as a Sir) felt she'd exerted herself enough for one morning. She took a circuitous route to her shared rooms and ordered a bath.

Once she had the place to herself and could soak in the numbingly hot water, she realized she had missed Kel and Dom on their way out. She would just have to see them upon her return. Well, Dom, really. She knew Kel was busy, and she was more interested in understanding Dom's motives with the second Lady Knight.

* * *

><p>Kel quickly scrubbed herself clean and proceeded to leap out of the tub Tobe had had waiting for her. Looking amongst her packs, she found a russet gown with copper and gold embroidery and gold trim that was both flattering and suitable for riding. She pulled out her nicer riding boots, the dark brown ones, and found a pair of lighter brown hose.<p>

Seeing her reflection in the room's lone mirror, she realized she'd have to do something more with her hair. The night before, and in the months previous to it, she'd worn her hair in a growing braid. Now it was long enough to reach her mid back, long as it was, and she hadn't worn it loose since she'd decided to grow it long again.

Now, she took the time to carefully brush through all her locks, twisting the tool in order to give her hair a slight curl. Next she pinned in back with a pair of monarch butterfly snaps – it would flow with the wind, but she wouldn't have to worry about it getting in her face. Kel then remembered her small brown cap and placed it on her head, finishing the portrait. She stood and took several steps back, that she might view her entire self in the reflective surface. The stunning effect was undeniably breathtaking, and Kel wasn't in the habit of flattering herself.

To finish it all off, she sprayed a honey, brown sugar, and floral scented mixture about herself; it was a great find (quite expensive, too) that she'd bought off a merchant in Port Caynn during one of the Own's visits. At the time, the men had laughed at her and asked why _she_ was purchasing something so insultingly girly; she'd only laughed back and stowed it away with the thought she would indeed never use it. At _this_ moment, she grinned wide and true; Dom and the others would see just how feminine she could be.

Now that he'd entered her mind again, it reoccurred to her that she was to bring the blankets and the saddled horses to the main gate, while Dom was to take care of the food. Kel grabbed her brown hooded cape – it looked like rain for later – and a few spare sheets of the thick military grade then rushed out the door, heading for the stables.

* * *

><p>Dom hastened to finish his wash. He was so quick that he had to do it again, for he'd missed several spots of his body.<p>

He gazed at his reflection in the mirror and realized he'd forgotten to shave earlier that morning. He decided to do so now; it really wouldn't take that long, and he wanted to look his best.

Discarding his first choice in tunics, a cliché sapphire matching his eyes, he instead chose a hunter green trimmed and embroidered in a dark crème. It went well with his dark hair, and he had a pair of undyed breeches that were a bit lighter than the crème.

His standard brown boots and darker brown hooded cape completed his attire nicely. He spared only a few moments to admire himself before leaving for the kitchens. Once there, he begged the best meal for two what could be found in this dreary war zone and tucked the repast into the handy basket the cooks turned up.

Marching over to the gate, Dom couldn't contain his excitement; he and Kel would be alone, truly alone, for the first time in their lives. The blue-eyed sergeant planned to savor every minute they were allotted and not dwell on the fact that three – _three_ – armed patrols knew where they would be for the duration of the trip.

Dom saw a cloaked womanly figure with her back to him standing with his and Kel's horses. Her hair was long and light brown. As she turned to answer the call of someone behind him, he gasped at her artful outfitting. The burnt orange gown with its sparkly copper and gold embroidery and trim amazed him. Her coffee colored hose and riding boots were enhanced by the colors of her dress. He also noticed her butterfly hairpin and cute little brown cap. Finally reaching her, he caught a waft of her permeating scent. It was sultry and innocent and the same time. All in all, Dom was pleased, very pleased.

He glanced behind him to see who had been speaking with her and was surprised to find his cousin.

Meathead made a dramatic show of inhaling deeply to recover the breath he'd apparently lost from his frantic sprint. "Kel…Buri…Yuki…and Lalasa, wanted me to remind you that you're to report to them immediately after the lunch hour."

The woman Dom had been ogling rolled her eyes and responded impatiently, "Did they honestly believe I would forget? Though, I _did_ mean to sneak off before they pulled me in too deep." Kel mumbled to herself, or so she thought.

"Yes, Kel, they honestly thought that, and with good reason. You're much like your Knight Master, running around looking for anyone in trouble, just to avoid a few small social gatherings. Unbelievable, that's what you two are!"

Kel huffed exasperatedly. "It was not a small social gathering. It was a _Grand Progress!"_ she hissed back. "And _I_ wasn't the one running."

Dom saw this as the prime opportunity to interrupt before the two took their fight to a physical level. "Perhaps we can be on our way, Keladry? We do have other matters to attend to, such as lunch…" he trailed off as she stared at him blankly.

Suddenly she recalled why she had the reins of two horses in her hands. "Oh, right. Of course, let's go." She held his reins while he first attached the basket to the side of his saddle and then mounted.

Once he was settled, she mounted Hoshi and they Watch Commander motioned for the guards to open the gates wide enough to permit the two riders. The pair rode for several long moments without any conversation, content to simply enjoy the serene and tranquil forest. Kel and Dom soon reached a small meadow with a surprisingly flowered clearing.

After dismounting and grabbing the blankets in one smooth motion, Kel searched for the perfect spot on the tiny patch of grass not overrun with the picturesque foliage. She spread the three blankets wide enough for them both to lounge comfortably without having to worry about displacing their food.

Dom had come up behind her without a sound; just as mutely, he began to lay out the different dishes with which the cooks had graced them: roasted chicken and red potatoes with a buttery garlic and parsley sauce, peppered string beans, spiced almond and red currant rice, and a number of soft sweet rolls that would melt on ice.

Kel's mouth watered and that was before the fragrant aromas besieged her. She sat down beside and Dom and accepted the loaded plate he handed to her with a diminutive thank you.

A few minutes passed before she remembered herself and ventured to make some sort of conversation with her partner. "This is all scrumptious. What did you bribe the cooks with in order to get this lavish meal?"

Dom chuckled before answering, "No bribery was involved – unless you count batting my long lashes with a promising smile bribery, that is."

She couldn't help laughing along with him. It was nice, to be with a longtime friend, without all their worries smothering them; not to mention the lack of their being on a semi-illegal mission into enemy territory. They finished their meal while discussing the antics of some of New Hope's older residents. Behavior and tricks Kel attributed to their earlier times with the members of playful Third Company.

As Kel and Dom were repacking their utensils, she noticed an unusually somber silence from him. Kel paused and turned so she could face him more directly.

"What is it?" her words shocked him out of his seeming reverie.

"What is what?" he appeared surprised. Indeed he was; he hadn't been aware that he'd been acting differently.

"You've been staring at me with that solemn expression for almost two whole minutes. I thought maybe there was food in my hair or on my dress."

He smiled minutely. "There is nothing wrong with your hair or dress." There isn't anything wrong with you at all, he thought to himself. No, that wasn't true, if he was being completely honest with himself, as he'd silently promised to do since that morning, there were some things he found less than appealing about her. The way she hid her emotions from everyone, including him, and behaved like one of the Old Knights (the noble, I-fight-alone knights) both irked him to no end.

But, he thought. I could persuade her to open up, as long as I don't overwhelm her with an onslaught of prying questions.

He remembered himself. "I was just admiring you lovely apparel. Such workmanship is the product of your dear Lalasa, I presume."

"You presume correctly. She gave me multiple dresses the last time I was here. You really like it?" she asked uncertainly.

Once again, he was shocked by her words. "Of course I like it. It fits you quite well and favors your complexion most astoundingly. All of garments suit you in a breathtakingly natural manner."

Kel blushed at is overt flattery. No one had ever made her body tingle the way Dom did. Before she could lose her nerve, Kel kissed his cheek.

"It's refreshing to have at least one of my friends who sees me. I thank you profusely for that, Dom." She mounted Hoshi and took off at a brisk trot.

Dom hurried to catch up to her – he wanted exploit their time to the fullest.

* * *

><p>Dom and Kel reached the innermost gates and separated to their individual tasks, letting the waiting Tobe take their mounts. Dom went to guard duty until the middle of the evening, and Kel to matrimonial plans that promised to last well into the night.<p>

On her way her rooms to drop off the blankets she cursed her crazed actions.

She'd kissed him, actually _kissed_ him. What had she been thinking? She hadn't; that was the answer. She was sure he'd see it as a sisterly chase kiss, one his real sisters might have given his at any time in their lives. One thing was absolutely certain: it most definitely banished any inclinations he might have harbored as to her romantic interests.

Kel continued to berate herself all the way to Raoul and Buri's shared rooms. Sure, they'd maintained pleasant bantering conversation the whole ride back, but it felt like all the other times she'd spent time with him – they were friends and comrades in arms, nothing more. It pained her to think Dom might be stuck with that mentality of her.

She reached the door and paused for a moment to collect herself. Kel breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth slowly until she was the portrait of Yamani calm. There, she thought. I'm as ready as I'll ever be, and I can't do anything to change his feelings right now. So here I go.

Kel knocked delicately upon the door, waiting for someone to admit her. It was a full five minutes and three increasingly hard knocks later when Lalasa opened the door.

"Lalasa, what are you doing in here? Don't tell me we're doing a dress fitting today!" Kel added after noting the older girl's mischievous look.

"Lady Kel, dress fittings are the least of your worries." Chuckling, Lalasa dragged Kel into the rooms. Kel was greeted by the sight of Yuki and Buri, both seated at a Yamani-style table with various throw cushions surrounding them, sipping green tea and laughing with much mirth.

Buri spoke up first, "Kel! You're finally here. Sorry about this morning, but Daine and I aren't going to tell you what happened, so you can just _forget it."_

Kel harrumphed in response and took a seat in between Yuki and Lalasa. "Where is Daine, by the way? Surely I'm not the only one you three roped into this."

Before her time in Tortall, Yuki would not have hesitated to hide her good-natured smile behind her fan. Throughout the duration of her stay she'd been losing her stiffness even faster and more effectively than Kel. Now she grinned openly at her friend's indignation.

"She and Alanna will be over to dine with us and will both stay to help us finish up."

"I'm here now because, with three women as disinclined as you, Lady Alanna, and Miss Daine, these sensible two will need all the help they can get. It doesn't exactly help that the bride and groom were cut from the selfsame unsocial cloth." Lalasa deiced to throw in her two coppers.

Kel was immensely incredulous. Never had her former maid been so bold with others, let alone Kel herself. It _was_ a bit pleasing to know the other girl was comfortable with people besides her dear Tian. Kel felt the hope and serenity for Lalasa that she so rarely turned upon herself.

Smiling amusedly, Kel answered almost immediately. "I don't think we're all quite that bad, Lalasa. Perhaps everyone else is just too outgoing and party-oriented. Maybe the whole country should shade things down a few levels." She finished with an expressionlessly bland visage.

Lalasa appeared bewildered for some time before fixing Kel with a slight glare. "'Perhaps,' nothing, Keladry of Mindelan. If anything, _you_ are the one in need of a change. Just you wait and see, in less than five years' time, I'll have you craving even the smallest gatherings _and_ you'll have a man on your arm to show off to the other court ladies.

Kel shuddered copiously and banished the less-than-ideal thought from her unsettled mind. She did not think she would mind marriage, in time and to the right man; Kel just wasn't sure it was in her future. The parties and outings she would _never_ accept, although the friends-and-family events Raoul had held during the Midwinter she was knighted seemed appealing, and she started to plan the low-key fun they could all have once the war was over and they returned to Corus.

"How my life got to the point where _I_ would actually say this, I don't know, but can we please get back to the planning?" Buri was actually exasperated.

"Alright, alright, back to the wedding. We already agreed on red and white roses darkened with deep brown powders for the bouquets." Lalasa began. "I think your dress should be cream with scarlet embroidery and gold trim. Milord's tunic should be scarlet with gold embroidery cream trim and his hose should be a darker gold. Does everyone agree?"

Everyone nodded their heads in unison and Kel was struck with a miraculously romantic epiphany. "The bridesmaids' dresses should of a darker cream than Buri's and our embroidery and trim should be paler than hers. It would clash beautifully with hers without drawing people's attention away from her."

The other women were more than surprised that Kel could or would think such a thing, romantic and fashionable as the idea was. Yuki especially was touched. Maybe she and Lalasa could cut down their time to three years instead of five, if Kel already knew how to look good. It occurred to Yuki that Kel always wore outfits that complimented her figure, when she wasn't preparing to train or fight, and even when she was, her clothes all matched.

"That's great, Kel! We'll all look fantastic." Yuki finally commented. "Ooh, and our bouquets should be wrapped with gold ribbons. This is going to be so amazing!"

"I don't want this getting too out of hand, girls." Buri intoned.

"Oh, don't worry, my lady. We'll keep it simple, just for you and my lord; we know how ironic you two prefer to be." Lalasa chimed.

"First off, I'm not a lady until I marry him; secondly, how exactly are we ironic?"

"Well, he is one of the richest nobles alive, in terms of property under his jurisdiction. And you are a close friend of her Majesty. You have not refused all the gifts she and the King have bestowed upon you, but neither of you likes to _show_ _off_ any of your wealth or power in any way. It's astounding what you nobles will put yourselves through, sometimes." Lalasa responded nonchalantly.

Buri gasped angrily and turned away. Kel and Yuki just stopped drinking their tea long enough to laugh merrily.

Yuki found a way to distract Buri, "I think everyone not on duty at the time of the wedding should be invited. You're already having it here within the fort, which makes them all identify with the occasion. Making it open to all allows everybody to join in the happiness and the gods know they could use some cheering up."

Kel yawned dramatically and spoke with Neal's drawl. "This is all well and grand, but you are inviting _soldiers_ to your wedding and presumably reception. Most of those soldiers are male; they have stomachs, big stomachs. A soldier is a soldier is a soldier. What exactly are we going to feed them? The wedding is the second day after today; the cooks need to know what foods to make as soon as possible, for it will take them at least all of tomorrow to prepare and probably part of the morning on the day of the wedding, and they will most likely wish to begin their preparations tonight, in order to ease the work of the next two days."

"Look at you, Kel, thinking like a commander. And to think you were worried, actually worried, about how you would handle your position. Lord Wyldon made a fine choice that day. You really are great at what you do." Buri said.

"Wait a second. How did you know about that? My qualms, I mean."

"Neal and his cousin Dom noticed it while working with you, then the sergeant let it slip to Raoul, who wasn't able to resist my powers of persuasion." Buri smirked smugly.

"Stinking, meddling cousins. They really are Fruithead and Meathead. I suppose I'm not permitted to upset with milord?" Kel spoke it like a question.

Buri snorted. "Of course not, and we're your friends, Keladry. We wouldn't give those rotting conservatives the perverse pleasure of enjoying the fact that you felt what any one of your year-mates might have felt, had _they_ been given your command. Actually, you probably felt _less_. They all know how accomplished you are as a leader and a weapons master; most of them (including knights a few years ahead of you) never achieve the level of confidence of self that you've reached at such a tender age. It's good for people on your side to know this though, because it reminds us your human and it reinforces our feeling able to relate to you and your struggle."

Kel didn't much know what to say to thought, or even it there _was_ something she could actually say. This was a revelation to her, although she believed she should have thought of this on her own. Either way, she wanted the mood to be less serious and the attention less focused on herself. Kel did next what she thought she would never do,

"Let's start the dress fittings. Lalasa, have you designed them yet?"

Each of the other three women gaped open-mouthed at her, the silence and incredulity showering upon them with great force. For three full minutes, they were not able to utter a single sound.

It was Lalasa who recovered first. "Um, yes, Kel, I have already designed the gowns according Buri's wishes. I've actually already started on them. I've had recent measurements from all of you. Their ready for you to try on, if that is what you desire." The girl called Kel by just her nickname for the first time ever, and it seemed she only did it to keep her from regretting what she said and changing her mind about the fittings.

* * *

><p>Lunching by herself didn't help Alanna's mood any. In fact, it made it worse. While she normally would love to skulk and curse all of creation for the rest of her life, there <em>was<em> a wedding in two days, and she had a lot of questions, questions she wanted answers to by that time.

Knowing that Kel and Dom would have been back for hours by now and that the latter had guard duty on the west wall, the purple-eyed knight stalked of to that end of the fort. For most people, it would have taken a good ten minutes to cross the entire fort, due to the many obstacles, alive and inanimate, putting themselves in a pedestrian's way. For Alanna, the time was cut in half, because everyone and everything moved out of the angry knight's way. Word had gotten round of The Breakfast Dispute, as it had been rightly dubbed, and no one wanted to join Wolset in facing the end of the King's Champion's blade.

Alanna marched up the stairs and looked left and right for the dark-haired male she sought. Seeing him only twenty-three yards away from her position, she made an effort to step as quietly as she knew how and approached him from behind.

Tapping the shoulder on his opposite side, she began, "So, Domitan." She enunciated each syllable of his name carefully and with an increasingly harder tap on the same shoulder. "How was your picnic ride with Keladry?"

Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle was really scared now. The lady knight had already shown she was on to him this morning, now she was seeking him out? This could not be good in any way.

"It went, umm…well. We had much time to catch up on things we had missed." There, he thought. I was honest, but I didn't reveal all my cards. "How was you lunch, Baroness?"

Not the right way to go; if possible, her expression got even more livid. Clearly, she was not over her earlier embarrassment, and Dom quite possibly just made things worse.

"I'm asking the questions here, _Sergeant._" She responded tersely. "Where did you two go?" Her tone grew more and more brusque with each and every word.

"We roamed for awhile, then stopped at a small meadow where we picnicked. Afterwards, we took our time getting back."

"What was she wearing? A dress, or a shirt and breeches?"

"She wore an orange dress with brown hose and boots and cape."

"That's it? That's the most you noticed?" the Lioness sighed exasperatedly and looked at Domitan as if he were the stupidest person she had ever had the misfortune of meeting. "What _shade_ of orange was it? Was it embroidered? What color was the trim and did she have any accessories?" Alanna made sure to talk very slowly, although she really should have known better than to ask a male to describe the attire of another person, even if he had an affinity for that person. Not all men were like her George, noticing and noting everything about everything.

"Her dress was auburn with gold embroidery and trim, and some copper embroidery. It matched her dark brown boots and cap nicely, as did her lighter brown hose. She wore her hair pinned back with a butterfly pin, though I don't know the particular species. She also had brown hooded cloak. Would you like to know the number or stitches in her cap?" Dom was indignant enough to forget who he was talking to and slip in that sarcastic bit at the end.

After saying it, he realized it was both rude and suicidal of him to do so. Somehow, knowing he was about to meet his own demise actually put him at ease. At least then he would be under the scrutiny of a spy's wife.

Alanna, for her part, was inclined to be irate with him; she thought better of it when she recognized he'd finally displayed some real emotion. Moreover, she became cognizant that he'd described Kel's appearance with great detail. No man paid that much attention to a woman he didn't want. Alanna needed time to digest this information before continuing her interrogation. She also wanted to get her husband's take on matters.

Dom cleared his throat to remind the Lioness that they were holding a conversation. It startled her out of her reverie.

After shaking her head to clear her mind, she bid him adieu and left to look for George; she needed his expertise in this delicate matter.

* * *

><p>Daine was in the middle of heartwarming chat involving roughly two-thirds of Steadfast's animals. The rest couldn't be spared as they were Lord Wyldon's hounds, the soldiers' horses, or the birds used for sending messages or scouting where two-legger parties could not. Those present would spread word of their discussion to the People who could not attend.<p>

The Wildmage had been with the creatures since leaving the mess hall after breakfast. She knew Numair had a working and that Buri wouldn't need her until around dinnertime and Wyldon had no assignment for her, so she had decided to see what was new with her resident friends of the People.

One tomcat was complaining that another had stepped into his territory and was trying to sweet-talk one of his humans. Daine just laughed and promised to have a word with the offensive feline.

All the animals had something or other of interest to tell her, but around noon they started to trickle away, back to their daily activities. It was half a bell before the first dinner hour when the last animal, a female squirrel who reminded Dine of Flicker, left the Wildmage to her own devices.

Feeling her belly rumble – she'd talked right through lunch – she decided to meet up with Buri and the others early. She was going up the stairs when Alanna ran up behind her, puffing with exhaustion.

"Daine…have you…seen…George?"

"Not since breakfast, I haven't. You look hungry though; why don't you come with me – I'm to dine with Buri and Yuki. Kel is supposed to be there, too, remember?" the young woman asked.

Alanna took a moment to think. She really could wait to talk to George until later, and dining with Kel would give her a chance to analyze that half of the blossoming relationship.

By the time she finished thinking, Alanna had regained her breath. "I would love to, Daine."

The smirk the knight-mage gave Daine was more than slightly disconcerting, but as it wasn't necessarily directed at her, the youthful mage shrugged it off. They walked together to the end of the hall and Daine knocked on the door.

* * *

><p>The four women had more than recovered and Lalasa had finished fitting both Yuki and Kel by the time they all heard a light knock on the outer door.<p>

Buri saw her chance to escape her own fitting and ran to admit the new arrival. It turned out to be arrivals as she opened the door and saw not only Daine, who was a bit early, but also Alanna.

The former Commander of the Queen's Riders didn't waste time enlisting her old friends. "You've got to help me! I'm trying to put off my fitting until at least later tonight. Come inside and one of you start asking about our dinner plans."

Alanna and Daine chuckled at Buri's antics and Daine responded, "What else besides food could have brought me here so soon, do you think? Have you forgotten that I, too, have to be fitted for a gown, or am I no longer one of your bridesmaids?" Daine finished with heart wrenching pout.

"Oh, right. Of course, you're still one of my bridesmaids. You _and_ Alanna have both been mandated by her Majesty to be a part of the bridal party. I can't have her here, so you two will just have to do."

The violet-eyed mage spoke drily, "So nice to know we're appreciated."

Buri gave her one of looks capable of chipping paint and responded. "Just come inside so I can get something to eat!"

The three women walked in and found Yuki clutching her stomach, trying not to laugh at Kel's expression.

Lalasa quickly explained that she had accidentally stuck her former mistress with a pin and Kel had shed a few tears. When Lalasa said she could stop acting like Neal after being sliced with Kel's pigsticker, Kel had become furious. Now every other woman was laughing hysterically at Kel's indignation.

It took them all several long minutes to quiet down, then they finally had one of Yuki's servants from two doors over leave to fetch their dinner.

The servant returned with not only the food, but also Neal, Raoul, and Numair. The men were following the young girl so closely, she almost lost her load. Yuki reprimanded them and thanked the kind girl for her patience and service.

The women hurriedly moved their planning materials out of the way and the group of nine sat down to their evening meal. No sounds save but those made from their heavy chewing could be heard until a loud knock once again interrupted the goings on.

Everyone looked at one another long enough for the visitor to knock again, harder this time. Finally, Lalasa sighed and rose to open the door. She figured her having the lowest status out of all those present required her to be the one to leave their plate first.

A third, rougher knock reached her ears before she could make it all the way to the door. Huffing angrily, she yanked it out and demanded to know, "Just who exactly thinks they're the most important person alive and can't be expected to wait more than a few moments for anything in their pampered life?"

The girl saw just who exactly it was and covered her gasping mouth while simultaneously trying to apologize for her rudeness over and over again.

"It's alright. Lalasa, isn't it?" the dark-haired noble asked her.

She simply nodded minutely.

"I knew milord was dining here and wasn't in the mood for the noise of the mess. Mind if I join you?"

Lalasa doubted that Raoul was the real person this blue-eyed man wanted to see, but she let him in anyways. Her suspicions were confirmed when his eyes went right to her former mistress, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan.

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><p><strong>AN:** I was so happy to finally be finished that I couldn't wait to update. It ended in a weird place, because I:  
>1. Wanted to make the next chapter include dinner.<br>2. Wanted to leave enough for the next chapter so it would be long too, but not quite as long, and  
>3. I haven't really thought of what else to include about plans for the wedding, which means everything after this is most likely going to be about the next day and the wedding. And honestly, the wedding deserves it's own chapter, so this is what we're left with.<p>

I bid you all adieu and hope you review.

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><p>Chapter 3's title: "Conscious and Renewal" "Conscious" was chosen because most of the people who are "telling" the story are changing who they are, both essentially and superficially. My older sister took AP psychology and I wish to take it next year. Exploring the dynamics of the Tortallan society will help me with the course, or so I've been told. It also adds to the levels of the story. In AP English: Language and Composition, we're discussing how good stories have a basic emotional level everyone can relate to, but the great ones also have a deeper meaning or motif that requires some thought and much meditation to fully understand or grasp. The latter is what I'm shooting for.<p>

The "Renewal" part comes from the bathing and rain themes throughout these chapters (by the way, the rain Kel was expecting _will_ happen in chapter 4), and hopefully in the next few to come. In the same English course mentioned above, we're using the book _How to Read Literature Like a Professor: A Lively and Entertaining Guide to Reading Between the Lines_. Before even opening the book, our teacher mentioned the things it would discuss; themes and motifs and patterns were just the beginning. If it rains in a movie or book, or a character takes a bath/shower or crosses a body of water, getting doused, it usually means something. Things will more likely have symbolic meaning than not.

The characters' bathing rituals are included with increasing detail to mirror the mental and emotional changes they are all undergoing. It signifies a sort of cleansing or purification, by means of which the character has gone on a journey and come out the better for it. Notice which characters are said to have bathed and which are not. It most definitely has symbolic significance. What does it mean when I stop writing about one person's bath in each chapter, and start writing about a new one? Also, the cleansing of a character is only mentioned from that character's POV, so to speak, unless he/she is being talked of collectively with other. People not in the fic previously, in the current chapter of the fic, in the fic yet (you know they will be), or in the fic period aren't mentioned when it comes to "renewal". There's a reason for that other than it would most likely be totally random.


	4. Chapter 4: Scrutiny Part A

**MINOR EDIT of about 100 words during the conversation Kel has with the women. It was brought to my attention that Kel had been a bit OOC, being so emotional. I couldn't bear to remove the dialogue, though, so I rephrased a few lines of Kel's and the Queen's (and I want to remind you all that some of the conversation occurs in a form of Yamani only Kel and Yuki can understand, and Yuki _is_ one of Kel's oldest friends). Also, the question has been raised whether Kel would actually reveal so much to the King and Queen (in Part B), so an edit is coming for that scene. Like the conversation in Part A, the one in Part B can't be removed, just altered to be more plausible and more canon.**

**A/N:** Just a short note before you read, I don't want to keep you waiting. It took me an incredibly long time to write this chapter; I struggled with this particular chapter because there were several important scenes I wanted to include, all before the wedding. The first scene of chapter four ended up being 5,881 words, so I knew I had to split it into two parts.

What you're about to read is all one continuous scene that really lasts only a few hours; the rest of the chapter is already written and will be uploaded as my promised chapter five update on November 1, 2013. The real chapter five will be posted on the 15th (originally the scheduled day for chapter six) because the super long chapter four completely upset the balance. So, every subsequent chapter is being pushed back two weeks to compensate for the 2 back-to-back updates of the two halves of chapter four.

On the final note, I have yet to find a new beta (the old one fell off the face of the earth BEFORE I previously stopped uploading two years ago) so please bear with me as I'm my own editor from here on out.

So, without further ado, I hope you thoroughly enjoy, and please take the time to read the A/N at the end - it contains important information.

Rdr-Wrtr

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><p>Chapter 4: Scrutiny Part A: shin no hansha<p>

Dom had finished his shift and immediately walked to the rooms shared by his Knight Commander and said Commander's future wife. Dom knew Kel was supposed to still be over there, but he tried to convince himself that he had important Own business to attend to – he was lying and failing miserably at it.

Thoughts of Kel had filled his head for the better part of his watch. The worse part was the five minutes he'd spent being interrogated by the King's Champion, who just so happened to be married to a thief-turned-royal-spy, so her information-gathering skills were better than the average knight's.

Alanna's cranky questioning aside, the whole of Dom's watch would have been infinitely better had he not been pining for that one unattainable woman. Dom wasn't quite sure why, but the more time he spent around Kel, the more he felt she would never love him the way he loved her. Kel was so noble, so brave, kind, and caring.

Sure, Dom had joined the Own to help people of his country and strengthen his family's ties to the Crown through service, but he hadn't really thought of anything outside his own little bubble. Being around Kel for so long had truly opened his eyes; Dom now saw the world in a clearer sense. He saw valor and grace in the most unbelievable places. If there was any one thing in Dom's entire life of which he could justifiably be proud, it was having known someone like Kel. No, not knowing someone like she, but she herself.

Leaving his cumbersome thoughts for another moment's consideration, Domitan knocked once upon Lord Raoul's door with mild force. He waited for what seemed to be hours but was really only a few short minutes before knocking again, with more vigor and less patience. Dom rinsed and repeated once more, almost beating the shape of his closed fist into the door.

Just as the sergeant prepared to knock a fourth time, the surprise of an unfamiliar voice screaming at him affected him long enough for the young woman to whom the voice belonged to continue demanding in a brusque, businesslike tone just who exactly he thought he was; a woman he could not recall having ever previously met wrenched the door open and immediately covered her mouth and groaned in shocked mortification upon sighting his trademark dark hair, blue eyes, and sergeant's insignia.

Her apologies bubbled forth long enough for Dom to figure out just who this city woman must be. "It's alright. Lalasa, isn't it?" he asked Kel's former servant gently with a reassuring smile.

She just managed to nod minutely.

Each of their rudeness aside, Dom supposed he should at least give a plausible reason for his strident intrusion. "I knew milord was dining here and wasn't in the mood for the noise of the mess. Mind if I join you?"

He thought he saw a knowing smirk flicker across her visage in one quick moment but instantly dismissed it as imagination spurred on by his recent nerves. Lalasa opened the door wider and admitted the famed noble.

The young woman – Dom figured she was somewhere between Kel and himself in age – led him farther into the rooms until finally, they were met with the sight of Numair, Raoul, and Dom's cousin Neal all shoveling forkful after forkful of food into their mouths. The women were eating just as quickly, but in a more… well, ladylike fashion.

Dom's eyes went straight to Kel as if on instinct. He didn't even have to scan the room; Dom automatically knew exactly where she was. He soon realized he was staring and turned his gaze to Raoul.

Clearing his throat, Dom began, "Milord, I heard there was food fit for the King himself in here. Perhaps that was once true, but you have clearly disposed of the nourishment in the most efficient way you know how."

"Insolent cur. There's more food left here. I'm sure you can eat those last few bites of rice and be happy. You've survived on far less during strenuous times, so stop your whiny complaints." Knight Commander Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak of the King's Own retorted.

Thunder boomed with his last word, at first putting everyone at unease. But, after a few moments, they all began to laugh at the absurdity of it, and the almost perfect timing of it. Raoul for his part simply huffed at the others' laughter.

"I hope you do not expect me to stand for what short time it will take to eat the miniscule meal you have provided; I would much rather have somewhere to sit." Dom drawled much like his cousin.

Neal responded in a similar manner, "There's room on Kel's left; I'm sure she won't mind the company." The green-eyed noble smirked mischievously.

Kel and Dom both began to blush lightly at the same exact moment, not daring to look the other (or Neal, for that matter) in the eye – neither quite enjoyed the idea of their dinner companions taking Neal's words too seriously, but both reflected that it would be nice it the other knew how each felt. It took awhile, but Dom recovered and sat quietly and then started to serve himself. The rain all had been expecting since early morning that Monday continued to lash against the walls of the lodgings, subduing everyone into a calm silence.

Before sitting with the rest, Lalasa stoked the fire. She returned to Yuki's side and cleared her throat. The others all glanced up at her and, realizing she was likely to address a topic most present would wish to avoid, hurriedly lowered their heads and continued eating.

"You're not getting out of your fittings," Lalasa began, "so you lot can stop your eating right this instant and stand still long enough for me to at least take all your most recent measurements." Everyone shuddered involuntarily as she finished.

Lalasa waited a few moments, but not a one of them seemed inclined to move. She sighed quietly to herself before making a quick decision. "All right, since no one wants to volunteer…" she let her voice trail off.

All the others' faces paled, but before any of them could speak, Lalasa hastened to continue, "I suppose we can go in pairs. While I'm dealing with one set, the rest of you can lounge around or contribute to the as of yet unfinished plans. I think I'll start with the bride and groom, just so I can get you two safely out of the way. Since you're the most important couple, I'll see to you two separately; bride first, please." The former maid clapped her hands a few brisk times, which got everyone moving.

Buri was first since the bride is arguably the most important figure at any wedding. The petite K'miri fighter reluctantly stood upon the stool provided with her arms held out stiffly to either side, the envy of scarecrows everywhere.

Lalasa chuckled darkly before stating, "Keep it up; just keep it up. This can be a pleasant experience, or we can stay here all night, working only on your gown." She finished with a devilish grin.

Buri paled before straightening her form and relaxing her shoulders a tiny bit.

Lalasa spent the better part of an hour fitting Buri and restyling the gown. No one knew how she had managed to already finish the gown – and Raoul's tunic and hosiery – since her lunch planning session.

As Lalasa finished torturing Buri and Raoul, the others upheld light, easy conversation. Daine, Yuki, Alanna, and Kel discussed the comparative advantages of different bows. Neal, Dom, and Numair badgered Raoul about his upcoming nuptials, demanding to know the couple's plans for the foreseeable future.

Daine was in the process of recounting her and Numair's time in the Divine Realms for the sake of Kel and Yuki when, yet again, the party planners were interrupted by a knock.

Lalasa didn't trust herself to answer the door a second time that evening, so she kept her head down, focusing on Buri's hem. Kel figured she would spare the older woman and rose to permit the newest addition to the group.

Kel was met with a sight akin to the one Lalasa had earlier faced. Dark hair and deep cerulean eyes greeted her; the trademarks of none other than King Jonathan IV himself. Beside His Majesty, shrouded in a worn cloak and sporting workers' clothing, stood his Queen, Thayet the Peerless.

Kel was unsure how to properly greet the new, royal guests, considering the queen was going to so much trouble to remain unidentified. Also, though Kel had developed a mutually respectful relationship with the Queen, she had never really spoken with the King aside from brief encounters (usually involving Raoul and some military problem or other).

Just as Kel was bracing herself to address the royal patronages, King Jonathan spoke, "Lady Knight, it's good to see you well. If we may be permitted into the room?" he asked gently.

At first quite shocked, it dawned on Kel that the monarchs might now be wary of her after her Scanran adventure. She had managed to defy their indirect orders in a manner illegal, yet unpunishable. Kel's traitorous, bold actions established her as political player, something that didn't please her any due to the complications it incurred.

Mutely, Kel stepped aside to let the King and Queen into the rooms. She followed Their Majesties back towards the others, contemplating her position with them the whole while.

"Jon! Thayet! What are you doing here?" Raoul exclaimed when he caught sight of the pair.

Thayet pulled a mischievous grin, "Tell me you did not honestly believe we'd miss your wedding. Two of our oldest friends have finally opened their eyes; war or not, of course we came!"

Jonathan and Raoul shared a smirk before the former stage whispered, "She's just reveling in the fact she'll see so many warriors in dresses."

The Queen frowned at her coruler, "There's nothing _wrong_ with dresses. I see the impracticality of wearing one into battle, or even throughout daily life, since ours are so hectic; but donning a dress for special occasions and during the slow periods is perfectly sensible."

"I agree," Kel stated simply, much to eveyrone's surprise.

Neal couldn't keep silent, "But Kel, you _hate_ dresses!"

"Now where would you get that idea?" Kel waxed exasperated. "Do you not remember our page years? I didn't just wear gowns to dinner to remind you boys of my femininity, I wore them because I actually like dresses." She looked down to her toes for a moment, gathering her Yamani calm to deliver her next words.

Ever so quietly, Kel uttered, "I enjoy being female—I said as much to my Lord Wyldon when last we jousted. I am not ashamed of my gender, and every girl likes to wear pretty things when she can," Kel finished breathlessly, not daring to meet any of the others' eyes as she returned to her seat.

The distinct non-sound of silence surrounded her. She was both mad and shocked, but not really surprised. Kel knew the Lioness, Buri, and Daine didn't particularly care for women's formal wear – that was putting it mildly, according to several disputes Raoul had recounted for her – but being a female warrior like them didn't mean she had to share their distastes.

Kel was annoyingly aware that her squire years and almost year of knighthood hadn't permitted her to show her feminine side – except for that picnic with Dom. And wasn't he rudely incredulous? A small, cruel voice inside her asked. But Kel also knew she had never expressed a dislike for ornamented, flowing attire.

Like any sane person, Kel detested fittings – who _likes_ to be stuck with pins for hours on end? – however, the whole affair of dressing up and putting more than a few minutes' effort into her appearance delighted her. Kel had yet to openly admit just how thrilled she was to be a bridesmaid and how slightly dismayed she'd been to learn Roald and Shinko had gotten married without her, happy as she was for the royal couple.

It had only been a minute or two that the others alternatively sat or stood soundlessly regarding her. The most terrible part for Kel was imagining what the King and Queen thought of the whole situation. Fortunately, Lalasa broke the silence and beckoned to Raoul, "Your turn, milord."

The quiet effectively shattered, the others slowly resumed their conversations from before the monarchs' entrance. Thayet and Buri joined Kel and the other women, while Jonathan moved to sit with the men, sans Raoul.

Daine finished her tale of the Divine Realms and turned to Thayet, askance, "Were you astonished when we appeared on Diamondflame's back with another dragon, a god, and Stormwings in tow?"

The Queen smiled at the younger woman, "I would like to say no, for I've learned to never be surprised when it comes to you and Numair," Daine glared at her; Thayet continued, "but only a fool would claim nonchalance at the sight of such magnificent and terrifying creatures. Your arrival was timely and much appreciated, but not likely to be forgotten."

Thayet peered thoughtfully at Kel, who had yet to raise her face to the others. "I never knew that about you, Kel. I assumed, however wrongly, that working towards your knighthood would have made you greatly prefer men's attire."

Kel still didn't look up as she responded levelly, "Breeches and shirts are more comfortable, I'll concede, but dresses do more for a women's self-image." It was so strange for her, to be so openly discussing matters she hadn't dared bring up around the men over the years.

"I admire you, Keladry. It must have been unfathomably trying to spend the better part of eight years with mainly males. I suppose you never discussed such things with them?" Thayet queried.

"How could I?" Kel lifted her head at last. "How was I to truly be myself around hundreds of men to whom I had to prove I was just like any boy? Everyone expected me to shrivel up and act like a normal squeamish girl; they all assumed I'd 'learn my lesson' and leave.

"In order to succeed, I had to show them I _wasn't_ a girl. I had to hide a part of myself from them, because if I were to open up, if I were to admit that I wanted to be a normal girl, they would have eaten me alive."

Kel turned away from the other women to glare out the window. "I was so busy working so hard to become a warrior worthy of my family and of my realm that I didn't have time to become the woman I want to be.

"I don't know what's come over me," she sighed wearily. "I don't understand why I'm sharing all of this with you. I—I didn't mean to dump this on you, and I don't want to lose face by speaking of such highly personal matters."

Thayet quickly interjected, "There is the problem, Kel. Yukimi and Shinko have learned something in four short years that you haven't realized in almost nine years."

Kel whipped her head around from the window to glance inquisitively at the Queen. "What do you mean?"

"Kel. Keladry, you, more so than my daughter-in-law and Lady Yuki, are not Yamani. Not anymore; not since you returned to Tortall. Call it as barbaric as you want, but as an Easterner you do not have to hide your emotions. It's all right to let your face show how you feel. And opening up to us is not as improper as you may think - Kel, I've known you on a personal level since you became a squire, we used to spar together after all. And you've known Yuki and Daine both for years longer than that. Buri, too, has known you for more than four years. Though you've only gotten close to Alanna since earning your shield, you know she watched you throughout your training, she knows more of you than you think."

"But I do," Kel uttered incredulously. "I smile, and laugh, and frown, and show how I feel all the time."

Daine frowned and shook her head, "Not all the time, Kel. I've noticed you keep the important stuff well-shuttered. You're always so stoic, like my Lord Wyldon."

"Thank you," Kel responded, touched.

"That was not a compliment, Kel. I don't like how cold and reserved Lord Wyldon is. Nor do I think such behavior suits you."

When Kel made to retort, Buri placed a dark palm on the younger woman's arm. Kel turned to her with a question in her eyes. "Kel, you're not listening to us. Perhaps all your Yamani training gave you the strength of character and the discipline necessary to succeed and excel, but I think it also hindered you.

"When was the last time you opened yourself to someone and I mean truly lowered all your barriers and just told a person exactly what's on your mind and let them see the real you? Take a moment to think about it, rushing into something isn't your style," Buri added when Kel immediately opened her mouth to respond.

Kel listened and took the time to think as far back as she was capable of remembering. A few years before, she'd divulged her deep-seated guilt to Buri in the midst of the Riders' mess hall. Farther back in time, Kel had told her parents just what she thought about Lord Wyldon's stipulation that Kel be placed on probation during her first year as a page, pending his sole review at the end of the term.

No other occasions came readily to mind as she tried to recall as much as possible. Kel was startled to realize that she hadn't been forthcoming with anyone in years. She'd been fighting a solitary battle for the past eight years.

Alanna watched as the revelation dawned in Keladry's eyes. The violet-eyed knight smirked to herself before saying, "Kel, please look at me." The younger knight complied and the Lioness continued, "Even I allowed myself to confide my true identity and notions to a few friends. Jon, George, and George's mother helped me get through my knight training by lending a listening ear anytime it all got to be too much for me.

"Everyone needs a support group. A network of people – however small – upon who they can always rely. You don't have to go at it alone Kel. We are all here for you."

Kel was unsure how to respond. The Queen, Daine, Buri and Alanna had all given her much to ponder. She spent a few minutes pushing the last few bites of rice around her bowl with her metal fork. Kel supposed Yuki had brought such metalware with her to the warfront to add the female touch the military forts clearly lacked.

After several minutes of simply staring at the remains of her meal, Kel looked up and regarded Yuki directly in the eyes. Kel didn't speak, didn't move; she merely gazed at her Yamani friend with the perfect composure, no trace of emotion, nothing at all breaking through her Yamani Mask.

Yuki could see through Kel's eyes, though. She could understand what lie just beneath the surface. Choosing to speak in the highest form of the Yamani language – a case so proper and rare as to be considered archaic, which insured only those most skilled with the foreign tongue could either speak or understand it – Yuki said to Kel, "Why now, Keladry? You've managed to keep silent on the matter for years. What was the catalyst?"

The others all frowned in confusion—the King and the other men included, for they had directed their attention to the women's conversation by that point—but Kel had spent enough time in the Yamani Islands, and enough time at the emperor's court in a position of favor to have the linguistic capacity to comprehend the elevated style. "I don't know what you mean."

"Why is this so important now, _today_? Why did you not divulge this information yesterday or any time before this?" the Yamani noble refused to back down on the subject.

Kel couldn't keep herself from shouting in response, "Because yesterday I didn't know for certain that my friends would never consider courting me." Her volume lowered as she continued, "I didn't realize they were incapable of seeing me as a woman! They were all so shocked at the thought of me being alone with a male, and none of the King's Own have ever seen me in a dress. Not until my picnic with Dom earlier.

"I saw some of them in the stables, and some on the wall with guard duty, and then Dom came out to meet me and… they were all so surprised to view me in a lady's attire! That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. A few years ago I bought some perfume in Port Caynn, and the Own laughed at me—my _friends_ all laughed at me for being so utterly feminine.

"And every day that I wore a dress to dinner during my page years, the other pages scoffed at me and it's all just finally starting to get to me."

Yuki selected her words carefully, "How do you know they do not see you as the woman you are? How do you know they would never court you, Kel?"

"At breakfast, Lerant and the men of Dom's squad weren't just stunned to hear I might have been alone with him. As I left the mess hall, I heard them comment off-hand that they couldn't believe Dom found my dress enticing." Kel's voice broke as she said the next part, "Both Corporal Wolset and Dom's newest Corporal added that seeing me in a dress would be like seeing Dom or my Lord Raoul in a dress, it wouldn't be right because dresses are only for women—the rest of the squad agreed with them. I'm surprised you didn't hear it yourself."

"Neal and I had moved to a new table a few rows over as Alanna and George left. Right as you were moving to leave actually, and Daine, Buri and Numair went with us," the usually peppery Yamani had simmered down a bit at Kel's words. "But that was only Dom's _squad_, not Dom himself. What did he do or say to that effect?"

Kel shut her eyes for a moment, collecting her thoughts, before they flew open and she said icily, "He did not disagree with them. And when we went for our picnic, he was so dazed at my dress and—and, and I…" Kel allowed her voice to trail off.

"You what, Kel?" Yuki asked gently.

"When we returned to the fort, I kissed his cheek, and he didn't react to it at all."

Lalasa had finished with Lord Raoul's fitting by this time, and he chose that moment to rejoin the group. "What are you two discussing that can't be said in front of the rest of us?" the knight asked.

It was Yuki who turned to him and answered, in Common, "I believe Kel has forgotten one of the most crucial aspects of her training among my people." The noblewoman turned to Kel herself again, "You have forgotten your _shin no hansha_."

King Jonathan frowned, "I've never heard that phrase before, have you, Thayet?"

"No, dear, indeed I have not heard it either." The queen turned expectantly to Yuki for an explanation, but the Yamani had eyes only for Kel.

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan addressed the room as a whole, "It literally means one's true reflection. True reflection is a Yamani concept for one's truest self. By looking into a pure mirror, with no distortions, one can see exactly how they look.

"But to see the _shin no hansha_, one must be completely honest with themselves. A person has to accept themselves for who they really are inside and come to terms with the very essence of their being. It is a very difficult process than involves months of deep meditation and several pilgrimages into the heart of the mountains.

"One must journey into the farthest recesses of nature and attempt to commune with the great spirits from the eras before man walked the earth. It is by sojourning multiple times over a period of time that one shows devotion to the task and demonstrates the strength of their desire to both understand who they are and become one with nature, one with the world around them."

The other Easterners sat in astonished muteness. The Eastern lands weren't as in touch with their environment. Only the most devout priests achieved anything close to such high self-awareness, or even sought after it, for that matter.

Yuki's eyes remained trained on Kel as the Yamani woman spoke, "That ritual is for those who would wish to bring balance to the world, not just to the people of Yaman. Only those seeking the ability to mediate between large numbers of peoples or those who have completely lost their way make the journey."

The woman turned to everyone, finally looking away from Keladry, "There is a simpler form of the ritual, one most Yamanis practice during their daily meditations," she looked back to Kel. "You merely have to focus inward and admit one thing about yourself that you have never previously voiced. Be brutally honest, with no reservations.

"Every day that you do this, you come a little closer to your _shin no hansha_ once more, chipping past the surface until you can see what lies underneath, and you grow as a person. If you want to be happy, you need to understand who you actually are. You must discover what it truly means to be Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, not as the world sees you, but as you are in your essence.

"This level of honesty proves difficult to achieve; it would help if you shared more with your friends. Something that those close to you see in you might help reveal to you what makes you who you are." Yuki finished with a nod.

Dom chuckled lightly, unwittingly drawing the attention of the room to himself; they all looked askance at him. "What's so funny, Fruithead?" asked Neal.

"Nothing, and don't call me that!" Dom retorted, before adding, "It's just, why do I get the feeling that none of us really know what's going on here?" he turned to his cousin's betrothed. "What aren't you telling us, Yuki?"

"It is not for me to say."

Before anyone could persist with the conversation's new direction, Lalasa loudly cleared her throat. Once she'd garnered the room's attention, she spoke, "I don't mean to interrupt, but this has all gotten much too serious and slightly gloomy. We have a wedding to finish planning, and most of you still require final fittings."

As if on cue, George let himself into the suite of rooms, cloaked and dripping rainwater. "Who started the festivities without me, eh?"

The mood tangibly lifted as the tension faded with the Baron's entrance; the whole party chortled and Sir Alanna beamed at her husband; however that grin faded as Lalasa called for the nobles of Pirate's Swoop to come over for her to take their measurements.

Conversation dissolved once more into a light and easy flow. Kel was just thankful that everyone had finally stopped staring at her; she'd grown weary of letting so much of her pent up emotions escape in front of so many people. In particular, Kel wasn't comfortable sharing this information for the King, the Queen, Buri, Alanna, and Dom to hear.

Raoul was like a father to Kel, Neal was her best friend, and Yuki had known Kel longer even than Neal. When it came to Daine, Kel knew the slightly older woman saw more of people than they tended to see in themselves, and the Wildmage was such a friend, helping with Peachblossom and Kel's other animals. As for Master Numair, Kel sensed he'd been through his own fair share of heartache, and Kel knew his power scared most people, making him feel as alone as she did most times.

Kel just thanked the gods conversation had moved on. She roused herself from her musings and noticed the groups had shifted. Now Kel sat with Raoul, Numair, the King, Dom, and Yuki. Alanna was still being fitted, Daine had moved to speak with Raoul about his gelding, Thayet was engaging Alanna and George as Lalasa moved back and forth between the couple, and Buri was offering what she knew of K'miri healing to Nel.

After her perusal of the room, Kel focused on the discussion happening in front of her. Before the talk of Kel's well-being had begun, Raoul, Dom, and Numair had been discussing the now-moot methods of battling the killing devices. The King was still interested to hear of the varying successes against the deadly opponents. Yuki merely sat quietly next to Kel, but listened closely as the four men chatted.

"One thing that really bothered me was the overkill," Dom began. "I mean, the devices screamed overkill. Daggers for toes _and_ fingers, and they _four_ extra joints. It wasn't necessary. We already know how malicious Blayce was, but the design was almost vindictive."

Raoul voiced his agreement, "The little worm had a creative flair, didn't he? And I mean that in the most negative way possible."

Numair raised an eyebrow, "The pathetic excuse of a man _was_ thrown out of school and ostracized throughout these lands. He probably still held a bit of resentment against his teachers."

"What are the chances of someone continuing Blayce's work, Numair? I don't want to have to deal with that again," the King shuddered.

Though his question had been directed at Numair, Kel spoke up, "Your Majesty, all of his work was destroyed. That castle was burned down to the ground, and that Nothing Man wasn't the sort to leave his work anywhere but his workroom—anywhere else and someone might have seen it and in his mind that would have rendered him obsolete."

The King frowned slightly, but looked thoughtful. "You're sure there is no way for any other person to repeat the experiments?"

"I am absolutely certain." Kel remained as respectful as she knew how to be, though the King's words grated on her nerves.

Dom faced the king, "Your Majesty, Kel wouldn't have let us leave without being completely thorough. Everything was destroyed in the fire." Kel smiled inwardly at his defense. It was good to know her friends would support her even in front of the royals.

"I didn't mean to imply any lack of diligence on the Lady Knight's part; I just don't want to watch my people suffer anymore." The King spoke softly at the end there.

Kel caught Jonathan's eye before saying, "I understand, Sire. It must be so difficult to refrain when you know there's more you could be doing for your people."

Jonathan slightly quirked his head to the side. "True, it is not the easiest thing in the world to remain in a safe zone, but there is also much good I can do from within the capital to aid in the war effort. It helps that Roald and Shinkokami have wed. General Vanget worries a bit less now that my heir is more established within the realm."

Numair smirked, "How was the wedding, Jon? I wasn't able to make it back to the capital myself."

The King regarded his friend with a pointed glare, "Though the wedding was smaller than usual to avoid excess costs, there were parties for weeks after. I'm sure your flitting about the forts had nothing to do with your desire to avoid state functions," the king finished with a knowing, sarcastic tone and a disapproving frown.

Numair's grin grew even wider, "Your Majesty, I would never wish to exclude myself from the necessary festivities, however nor can I shirk my duties here on the border."

"I have it on good authority that you could have spared two or three weeks last month, Numair. No matter, I'm sure plenty of our returning knights will seek marriage after the war, and I'll make sure you attend every single wedding," the King managed to sport an innocent yet triumphant smile.

Numair pouted as the others chuckled at his expense. It was then that Yuki decided to join the conversation. "The wedding was not insufferable as court affairs so often are. My lady and His Highness held a beautiful but simple ceremony. It was concise yet romantic." She frowned at the group, "I do not understand this Eastern distaste for social gatherings."

Dom turned to his future cousin-in-law, "It isn't really an Eastern custom so much as it's a disposition of certain progressives. Like Kel, and my Lord Raoul. One would think courtiers carried different strains of the plague the way these two avoid court." This remark earned the Sergeant two glares and an unspoken promise of revenge.

Before either knight could verbally retaliate, Lalasa called for Dom, sparing the Sergeant. Alanna and George came over with Thayet, chuckling at some witty aside the monarch had muttered.

Numair for his part sighed dramatically and looked down at his wife, "It looks like we're to be the last, my love."

"That's fine by me," Daine grinned, then turned thoughtful, "although I suppose that means we have to wait the longest."

Neal couldn't contain his excitement, "My Yamani flower and I don't have to be fitted since we're not part of the ceremony!"

"Laugh all you like now, Sir Nealan," Lalasa called meekly. "When you and Lady Yuki marry, I shall make your fitting longer than Midwinter."

The green-eyed knight waxed squeamish, mortified at the turn of events. Naturally, the whole chamber had heard and took delight in teasing the young noble. Though Neal was upset with Lalasa's doomful promise, he was also happy the woman was finally comfortable enough around him to joke with him.

"And don't worry Master Numair. I've purposefully saved you two – the most difficult – for last."

Daine turned to the woman she'd jested with during lunch with a heartbroken expression, "What makes us the most difficult?"

"It's not personal on my part, but it might be on yours," Lalasa frowned at the pair. "Neither one of you has ever sought my services; the only reference measurements I had for your wear came from the palace tailors—they're not to be trusted," the dressmaker finished emphatically. "I went ahead and put something together for you both, but I'm sure I'll have to make numerous readjustments."

Kel snorted loudly, "As if anything you made could ever fit less than perfectly, Lalasa! Your work is always perfect." The older woman blushed heavily at the compliment, even to this day she wasn't entirely used to Kel's kind words.

Buri piped up with another K'miri practice for childbirth, regaining Neal's attention. Alanna and Thayet moved from Kel's group to Neal's to offer their own inputs; Neal constantly interrupted with interjections about the newest member of New Hope's untimely entrance into the world. The other group's conversation diffused as Numair and George plied Kel with questions of New Hope; Jonathan, Dom, and Raoul discussed the goings-on of the Own; and Yuki regaled Daine with various rare species of animals unique to the Islands.

The wedding planners continued their well-earned recreation until the last bell before midnight. As the partygoers dispersed, Raoul invited Kel to breakfast with him and Buri the next morning; Buri extended a similar invitation to Jonathan and Thayet.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Whoa! It got very intense there, and way too serious for my tastes. However, it was necessary. I feel like a similar set of conversations would eventually have popped up within the canon had Pierce continued the series. For Kel and Dom to get to the point we all want them to, she needs to start liking herself.

We find out in one of the books (I think it's in _Page_, but I could be wrong) that Kel's been told she's built along the lines of a cow - and she doesn't really seem to disagree. I noticed undertones of self-deprecation throughout the books, and I personally think she needs to grow as a person before she can enter into a healthy relationship.

I'd say more on the subject, but then I'd be revealing crucial passages of Part B, so you'll just have to wait on that update to get more background info on the subject.

As always, I hope you got as much enjoyment out of reading this as I did writing it.

Rdr-Wrtr

* * *

><p>Chapter 4's title, Scrutiny, comes from the uncomfortably personal attention certain characters receive in both parts of the chapter. Part A gets its subtitle, shin no hansha, from the concept itself which I invented; that part of the scene (including the entire conversation about Kel) is the crux of the section.<p>

I simply used Google translate to find the Japanese words for 'true reflection' (what little we know of the Yamani language has always reminded me of Japanese). Though the idea is in no way canon, I feel like it could be. It's certainly somber and significant enough to be Yamani, and the ritual is something that fits into the Yamani warrior stoic; Kel needs some sort of reminder or epiphany to help her regain her focus; once she does that, she'll be whole and can pursue her dreams (both her romantic and her career dreams).

Part B also has a subtitle, but you'll have to wait for it to be uploaded to see it and its explanation.


	5. Chapter 4: Scrutiny Part B

**A/N:** As, promised, here is the second part of chapter four, reining in at 7,078 words. There are five separate scenes. It's similar to Part A in that there were some conversations I really wanted to get out of the way. I'm less unhappy about Part B than I was for Part A, but I still feel both could be better, and I may yet revise them both. My biggest problem is I feel the characters became incredibly OOC despite my best efforts.

The last three scenes of this part were planned vaguely, but not scripted before I wrote them, so they almost serve as filler scenes. Now, I just want to give you all fair warning: You're probably going to dislike the first scene almost as much as I disliked the entirety of Part A. I chose a somewhat cliche plot twist that I'll give an explanation for below; I want to say ahead of time that it's for different reasons that you think, and though I seem to contradict content of earlier chapters, there's a key phrase one of the characters actually says aloud that explains away the discrepancy; see if you can catch it.

There really is more to be explained about this installment, but I don't want to keep you all any longer; so, PLEASE, read the A/N below for more on the content of Part B.

As always, I hope you enjoy.

Rdr-Wrtr

* * *

><p>Chapter 4: Scrutiny Part B: Transformation<p>

Tuesday morning found Dom ambling into the soldiers' mess hall. After grabbing his food, the sergeant scanned the room searching for his squad before he remembered he'd assigned them two hours' work in the stables for shoddy care of their horses the previous day.

Just as Dom started to move to an empty table in a corner, he spotted Alanna and her husband seated at a table near the back. He would have continued toward his corner spot, but the Baron of Pirate's Swoop caught his eye and beckoned the younger man over. Domitan cautiously approached, making sure to place himself directly across from George rather than Alanna who rested next to her husband.

"You're a sergeant in Third Company." It wasn't a question, the way Baron George phrased it, but rather a declarative statement, though Dom failed to understand his tone, and the words weren't necessarily hostile.

"Um, yes, I am," the blue-eyed noble managed.

"How long have you been with the Own?" strange the Whisper Man should ask; Dom was certain Neal had mentioned him to the spy, just as Neal had let slip George's not-so-secret identity.

"Almost nine years, I started with the Own the same year Kel and my mad cousin began their page training."

Something glinted in Alanna's violet eyes. "Yes, Nealan had mentioned something of the sort. So you've known Keladry that long?" her tone was a bit too innocent for Dom to not be wary.

"No, Sir Alanna. I only met Kel after she became my Lord's squire. I was the first to greet her when she came rushing down on her first late night call, we set out to aid the Haresfield village in the Royal Forest."

George's bushy brows rose before he asked, "You remember the exact village you helped together?" curiosity colored the older man's voice.

"It was on that particular excursion that Kel found herself burdened with a certain pesky immortal," Dom hastened to reassure, though he didn't know why. Dom couldn't understand what the pair were thinking. Somehow, this talk was already stranger than the one Alanna had had with him the day before, and it seemed it would only grow weirder.

The knight kept her mauve eyes fixed on her mug of breakfast tea as she inquired, "How did you feel about her? When you first met, I mean."

"Well, Neal had been writing me about her since they met, so by the time I actually had the opportunity to officially introduce myself to her, I felt like I already knew her. As descriptive and eloquent as my cousin thinks he can be, his words did her no justice. I'm not sure anyone possesses the ability to describe her to the full.

"I've known her for almost five years and I'm still learning new things about her. But, when I first saw her, I knew exactly who she was; Neal's letters served that purpose, at least, and he'd told me enough for me to grasp her kindness and dedication—she just wanted to help people. How does anyone argue with that?

"So I was nice to her and tried to help her when I could, without giving people the impression she had an unfair advantage. Eventually, after seeing how normally I treated her and how much I respected her, the others fell into line and Third Company accepted her as a whole. Between us and her knight friends, we've managed to squash some of the more aggressive naysayers." Though Dom had ridden with Alanna before – he wondered if she'd merely forgotten how long he'd been with the Own or was just testing him somehow – he felt like he was seeing a whole new side to the violet-eyed knight; it worried him.

Alanna glanced quickly at George before asking, "You have a peculiar and roundabout way of answering very simple and concise questions, Sergeant. Never mind that, though; tell me, what do you think of her now?"

"We're friends. My squad and I followed her into Scanra," came Dom's slightly indignant reply.

"We are not asking you about your squad, Sergeant," Alanna responded icily. "And you were ordered into Scanra, albeit on voluntary basis, but you received orders nonetheless."

Domitan's cerulean orbs glinted angrily and his voice came out quiet and enraged, "Do you honestly believe any of us needed orders to support her? And let me remind you: my Lord Raoul specifically chose _my_ squad for the mission; that wasn't an errant decision, he knew we'd all follow her into battle without second thoughts," his eyes never wavered from hers. He added as an afterthought, "Why are you singling me out?"

It was George who answered him, "Lad, you say all of Third Company are friends with her, but only you went on a picnic with the Lady Knight, and you had no other companions. Why is that?"

"We're united against my cousin," Dom raised his voice at the end, making it a question. "I mean, I suppose knowing Meathead has brought us a bit closer than she is with the others, but that's the only reason," he finished with a more certain air about him, though he definitely didn't feel that way.

The nobles of Pirate's Swoop eyed each other for a moment. Dom hadn't given them much to go on. He was close to her, but hadn't necessarily shown the affinity they suspected lie beneath the surface.

George turned to him again, "Why do you support her? Don't ply us with tales of your cousin's letters or your being open to change; tell us the real reason."

He didn't answer right away, Dom knew that would cause more problems than it solved. Mithros, when did my life become so complicated, he thought to himself. I used to be a soldier, defending the realm and living my life. Now I'm overanalyzing everything I do and say and I have to hold my own against spies.

Dom looked up, meeting both George and Alanna's eyes resolutely. "I know you don't want to hear about letters or political positions, but I can't tell you the full story without those parts." It never occurred to him to remain silent – he didn't want to think what the pair would do to him if he refused to answer them.

He took a deep breath before continuing, "My upbringing allowed me to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and the views Neal and I saw in the palace taught me a certain level of acceptance. Reading my cousin's letters of Kel gave me a unique insight into who the Lady Knight really is.

"Discovering how noble, brave, and selfless she is through the medium of Neal's words provided me the desire to get to know her. I wanted to judge for myself about her character. I-I know what it's like to be a stray; being a younger son, the Own was just as much my saving as New Hope is for all Kel's refugees – I knew she always treated others fairly, I just wanted to insure she received the same deal.

"That's what it was at first, at least. She was my cousin's friend and a kind person who just wanted to help people. But then I met her personally and she saw the world so clearly and even with the smallest of actions, she surmounted age old traditions and overcame prejudices. Kel made such an effort to include everybody and respect all, even those against her couldn't besmirch her.

"Kel's four years with the Own taught me the most valuable lesson I have ever learned. She showed me to care not just about myself, my family, the Own, or even the realm as an abstract concept; she showed me to think of people on an individual level, to be concerned about even an abused horse, a mistreated servant, a little orphan girl from enemy territory.

"Kel unknowingly taught me to see all the creatures of Tortall—humans, animals, and immortals alike—as people in their own rights. When you know someone like that, when you get the opportunity to experience a person so unselfish and utterly compassionate, what can you do but support them, follow them into battle, and try to become as incredible as they are?" throughout the whole speech, the sergeant had maintained an awed and incredulous tone, but as he articulated his last words, he grew embarrassed.

As soon as Dom finished speaking, he looked down to his almost empty plate, and tried not to ponder what the Lioness and the Whisper Man were thinking. He picked up his fork and began aimlessly pushing food around the plate; focusing on that trivial, mindless pursuit kept him from either bolting from the room or trying to hastily explain… explain what? Dom wasn't sure what impression his words gave, he didn't know why he felt so off-balance after speaking.

Somebody cleared their throat. Dom jerked his head up to meet Alanna's amused yet pensive eyes. "You're a good man, Dom. Despite your reputation," she added not unkindly. "Kel's lucky to have friends such as yourself. Earlier you asked why we'd singled you out. It's because, by all accounts, you're Kel's best friend in the Own. We, all right _I_, wanted to know more about Kel. Neal told me some things about her while he squired for me—I needed a different perspective. Also, I wanted to see the types of people she befriends.

"Kel and I don't really have much in common, but it's important for the realms only two Lady Knights to exhibit solidarity. If young girls can see that two such vastly different women underwent the same grueling training _and_ were able to become friends, perhaps the young ladies will be more interested in trying for their shields."

Dom supposed the Lioness was telling him the truth, but he had a sinking suspicion that it wasn't the whole truth. "What aren't you telling me? Because I honestly doubt that's why you two have been interrogating me. And yesterday you were asking me about her _clothing_—who cares that much about wardrobes?"

George chuckled softly, "Lad, you obviously care. No, don't interrupt me," he added as Dom made to interject. "I know what Buri, Daine, and everyone else was wearing last night—I've been trained to notice details. But ask Jon or Raoul… they know what Thayet and Buri were wearing, respectively; but neither has the slightest clue what you or I donned for the evening."

The younger man frowned in confusion, "I have no idea what you are trying to say. What does this have to do with what we've been discussing?"

Alanna groaned in frustration and was about to reach across the table and shake Dom by the shoulders when her husband gently placed a rough hand over her own. She glared up at him, but he only smiled sanguinely at her. The former thief stared at Dom for a moment before beginning, "There are many people in this realm who care about the Lady Knight. Those people, even the ones who barely know her, are protective of the Protector."

Dom smirked at the pun then retorted, "I'm _one_ of those people. I don't stand for anyone sullying her name, and I try to make sure she doesn't stay so busy caring for others that she forgets to care for herself."

"Oh, lad, ye don't even understand yourself. You truly don't see what we're getting at?" George fixed the sergeant with an exasperated grin.

Dom merely looked back and forth between the two, dumbfounded. Alanna caught his gaze, "Kel has only courted that other knight, correct?"

"Um, yes. Linden, I think was his name, from King's Reach."

One red eyebrow jumped halfway up Alanna's forehead. "It's Cleon of Kennan, Domitan; but that's not the point. Let's clarify: he's the only man she's courted?"

A simple nod, anything else and he would have gotten himself into trouble.

The knight much too innocent as she queried, "And just how many women have you been with, Sergeant?"

"Quite a few, I don't know the exact number. I honestly don't even remember most of them. I've been, um, _active_ since I was fifteen; I haven't really been keeping track…" he allowed his voice to trail off at the end. Dom looked down, as ashamed as he'd been the previous morning in his rooms while pondering his fourteen-year love life.

Suddenly, Dom loosed a gusty sigh and raised his head to stare mutely at the ceiling. He didn't really want to share this next bit of information with the Lioness and her husband of all people, but a man can only lie for so long.

"What is it, Dom? You look pretty serious," George spoke in the cautious tones one uses when approaching wildlife.

"I _feel_ serious. _This_ _is_ serious. I have something I need to say, something I've never, ever told anyone before, and I don't know if I'm brave enough to get it out. I just – I'm not sure how to put it; or even where to start."

"Start at the beginning."

"Al—alright. Since I was about seven, I've known that one of the easiest ways to gain respect, for lack of a better word, from other men… well, the best way to do that was to brag about my – conquests. I'd watched my brothers do just that for my entire life, but it didn't really sink in until then, when I was seven. And at that age, it was boasting of anything I could do better than someone else; but then I got older and realized people expected me to, well, be a young man and do what young men do. So, by the time I got into the Own, I'd been lying for years – since I was fifteen. I guess I've been lying about it for so long that I'd actually started to believe it all myself."

"I do not… understand, Dom. What do you mean?" Alanna scowled at him—she did _not_ like not understanding.

"I mean that I am not the ladies' man everyone thinks me to be. I mean that I have not actually ever touched a woman; well, at least not the way I'm said to have."

The Lioness spat out the sip of tea she'd just taken and spluttered, "You, you're a… a…."

"I am a virgin," Dom said quietly, almost to himself. For fourteen years, Dom had been bribing women to spread positive rumors about him, had been kissing them and talking them up only to politely albeit abnormally decline once he got them alone, had been speaking of the things he wanted to do to this woman or that woman – words spun into a web of lies, inspired by all the things he had heard other men brag about.

As ashamed as Dom had been with himself for having a blasé attitude towards women, a part of him was more ashamed of _not_ having such an attitude. Society expected certain behavior of him, and he just wasn't capable of meeting those standards, or lack thereof.

And why hadn't he bedded any of the hundreds of beautiful women who'd expressed increasing interest? Like Neal and Kel, Dom had grown up hearing grand tales of Alanna, Daine, and the Queen and others. All these brave, bold women were affecting change in their country, trying to even the playing field; he didn't want to work against that.

But that wasn't all of it. Dom loved his mother and his sisters, and he couldn't bear the thought of some man treating any of them the way he knew most men did the women they bedded. He shuddered at the thought of anyone so carelessly gaining intimate knowledge of the women in his family in the manner even his friends amongst the Own were with tavern wenches they met in various towns.

From an early age, Dom knew he wanted more. A part of him recognized that his cousin Neal was very similar. Neal had written pages and pages of poetry to dozens of court beauties over the years, but he'd never delivered those poems or acted on his fatuous desires; it wasn't until Neal had met and fallen for Yuki that the knight had even spoken to a woman of his feelings.

The cousins shared much throughout their years, it seemed their romantic ideas were no exception. Just like his younger cousin had, Dom was waiting for the right woman before giving of himself in such a way. Of course, there was no way in all the realms Dom was prepared to divulge these thoughts to the Baron and the Baroness.

Dom finally met the others' eyes and was shocked to see no sign of surprise in the older man's. "Why do you look like you already knew this?"

George chuckled much as he had earlier, "I've heard you with the other men, comparing stories of the lasses. I have been around enough to know when a man is lying; I figured you were either virgin, or wanted men. Oh, don't look at me like that!" he added when Dom cried out indignantly. "That thought lasted for but a moment. During the Progress, I saw the way you looked at Keladry in Persopolis. A man doesn't look at a woman like that without wanting her, nay, _needing_ her; though, I could see you were trying to hide it."

Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle of the King's Own was at a complete loss for words. He'd been attracted to Kel from the start, but he'd personally felt fourteen – and the whole trying for her shield situation – too young for him, though Dom wasn't unaware that some noble ladies infrequently married that young. He knew commoner women wed even younger occasionally.

Even without the eight year age difference to stop him, Dom had one hundred-odd men of the King's Own, Lord Raoul, Kel's knight friends, and countless others who would surely disapprove, to keep him from foolishly pursuing a relationship with Kel. He'd never even dared to breathe a word of this to any of the aforementioned before today; Dom found it so odd that George and Alanna would be the first to be told the truth.

Taking one final deep breath, Dom met both their eyes, "I guess there's no sense trying to deny it at this point: I'm in love with her. I was always attracted to her, and I thought of courting her off and on over the years, but it didn't really hit me until we were on our way back from Scanra." He paused for a moment, reminiscing over the revelation.

"As soon as my Lord told us of Kel's mad jaunt to save her people, I was gripped with fear – I never doubted her, but I worried for her. All through the trip, I tormented myself with numerous scenarios of what could have gone wrong with our mission; every single terrible outcome ended with her death, in my mind.

"And yet, I still didn't understand. It wasn't until we'd beaten Blayce and Stenmun's men – impossibly so, I might add – that true fear tore through me. While the others dealt with the aftermath of the skirmish, I went searching for Kel. I found her, lying against the wall on the ground floor, looking past death.

"It took me several moments to gather the courage to see if she was alive. Once I felt her pulse under my fingers and heard her breath, overwhelming relief coursed through me and calm found me. I was surprised it all affected me so profoundly. Amazingly, the moment I finally realized the depth and nature of my feelings didn't come until we were well on our way south down the Smiskir road back toward the Vassa. I was riding a few horse lengths behind Kel and puzzling out the strength of my concern when I at last grasped the truth of the matter," he fell mysteriously silent.

Alanna grimaced at him, "Care to finish?"

"Well, previously I couldn't fathom why her safety meant so much more to me than anyone else's, why I flirted with her more than any other woman, or why I'd been feeling the separation from New Hope—from Kel—so strongly. Right before I realized, Kel turned around to give some order; it wasn't directed at me, but I couldn't tell you the words anyways – I didn't hear them, I was too busy seeing her for the first time – the way her hair brushed her shoulders, the way her eyes sparkled with incredulous relief – and comprehending that I loved her."

George and Alanna regarded each other for several long moments before turning to Dom sporting matching grins. Needless to say, those mischievous smirks did nothing to reassure the Sergeant. It was Alanna who spoke, "We were hoping you'd say that. Kel deserves someone who understands her and accepts her. Perhaps that is you, I'm certainly not going to warn you off her.

"We've ridden together so many times during her knight training—"

"You mean while you were seething at Jon?" her husband interrupted with a knowing snicker.

The Lioness merely glared in response and yanked her hand from underneath his. "We rode together enough for me to know you're a good man, and also that you would never dare hurt her," she resumed, turning to Dom. "That's why I've been testing you. I wanted to make certain you were right for her."

"Why go to such trouble, though? I mean, I know you care about the woman following in your footsteps, paving the way for other noble girls to become pages, but this is more personal…" Dom didn't know what he wanted to say, so he allowed his voice to trail off into silence.

Alanna took her time composing her thoughts before answering, "I watched her. All through her page training and years as Raoul's squire, I kept as close an eye as possible. Though we only became friends after she got her shield, I got to know her in an indirect manner, similar to you.

"In all that time, I saw how alone she was. Not just because she was The Girl, but also because of her Yamani background. Gender aside, Kel has been set apart from her peers from the beginning; I know what that sort of separation can do to a person—from what I know of her, Kel would never openly admit how alone she's feeling, but I can see it in her eyes and in her demeanor.

"That woman needs love. She gives so much of herself to others, it's only right she start receiving something in return. Kel… deserves to be happy. And I think you can do that for her," the Lioness lowered her eyes and voice before continuing in just above a whisper, "The Goddess was not permitted to interfere with Keladry's life, but she desires all her servants to attain the future their deeds merit."

Something in the way Alanna worded that made Dom think she was quoting. People all over the world knew the scarlet-haired knight had been touched by the hand of the Goddess, but most assumed that connection had faded after so many years; now Dom began to wonder if, just sometimes, maybe the Goddess still guided Alanna down her path.

Frightening as this conversation had been, Dom was glad to have finally gotten the matter off his chest. The sensation he was experiencing was similar to the epiphany one has when one loses something important—he hadn't known how much it all was bothering him until he'd fixated on it, discussed it, and been honest with himself. It was a pleasant feeling, lifting him up and filling him with hope.

And then Dom had a realization once more: acknowledging his deepest thoughts had transformed him; he could only pray it was for the better.

His rumination was disturbed by none other than his meat headed cousin, and said cousin's lovely Yamani betrothed.

* * *

><p>Kel arose just half a bell after her usual time, still before dawn; Tobe and her animals were fast asleep. She left her bed as gently as she could went to privy to splash water on her face and quickly clean her teeth. Next, she pulled on a pair of breeches and tucked in her nightgown. Kel grabbed her glaive down from her weapons rack and began a simple pattern dance, now wasn't about training but rather loosening up and preparing for the day.<p>

By the time Kel had finished, the sun had started to come up over the horizon. She moved to the privy to freshen herself up for the day; when she came out, she found Tobe sitting on her bed struggling to cover his yawn with one arm as he petted Jump with the other; Sparrows rested all over the pair.

Kel could only laugh at the comical scene. Tobe grinned in response before flopping back onto the bed. Kel smiled at her charge and spoke for the first time that morning, "Why don't you take the day off, Tobe? Spend some time with Dom's squad or go annoy Neal. You've more than earned a rest."

"All right, Mother. Thank you," he added sincerely at the end.

Kel smiled wryly and shook her head, waving him back into his own adjoining room so she could dress privately. Though Kel was feeling better about wearing dresses, she didn't want to overwhelm her friends. Besides, she planned on donning several of them during the month or so they'd be snowed in and cut off from the south.

With those thoughts in mind, Kel picked out a comfortable pair of undyed breeches, a plain shirt with a light green tunic, and dark brown work boots. She braided her slightly damp hair and fed Jump and the sparrows before leaving her room to meet with Raoul and Buri for a seclude breakfast.

It didn't take long for her to reach their rooms; she knocked lightly and only had to wait a few brief moments before Buri opened the door to permit into the chamber. "I'd forgotten you have a gods-cursed habit of rising before the sun," the older woman grumbled as they made their way to a table already laden with food.

Kel quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Didn't you rise early with the Riders?"

That earned her the growled response, "Never you mind, girl. And I'll have you recall that I'm resigned from my post with the Queen's Riders, thank you very much." The prickly K'mir lowered herself into a chair and resumed sipping from her steaming mug of tea.

Kel took a seat across from her and then noticed her former knight master missing. "Where's Raoul?"

"You actually used my name, Kel! This is progress." The burly man's reply startled her, causing him to chuckle as he sat next to his soon-to-be bride.

"That was a one-time occurrence, Sir, not directed at you and spoken when I thought you weren't present. Don't expect it again." Kel grew suspicious, knowing Third Company's pranking habits were partially learned from the Knight Commander. "What were you up to?"

His reply was all to innocent, "Oh, I was just finishing a last report before I can officially take leave and settle into the hysteria of planning this wedding."

Buri frowned up at him, "You speak as if you had a hand in it. The girls and I did most of the work before you menfolk even showed up last night," she finished with a punctuated jab to his arm.

Raoul winced and heaved a world-weary sigh, "I've devoted so much time to the affair in the past month, I really should receive the most credit. Please stop wounding me dear, I can go to the courts on claims of abuse."

The K'mir smiled at her love and turned to the food, letting his playful banter slide over her. The three took the precious alone time to impart all the goings on they had missed out on since last they'd seen each other. It was a quaint occasion.

After ten or so minutes, there came another knock. Kel glanced about the room, bewildered, and more than a little upset that the previous evening's shenanigans might be repeated; Raoul for his part glowered at his plate and muttered incoherently about just what people could do with their knocking.

Buri rose yet again to answer the door. "Calm down, you two. I invited Jon and Thayet, or didn't you wonder why there was so much to eat on the bale?" She was only gone a few breaths before returning with the King and Queen in tow. Simple greetings were exchanged and the conversation resumed a peaceful flow.

While the bride- and groom-to-be teased Thayet over some tissue dress, the King turned to Kel and looked at her inquisitively. "We haven't had much time to speak with one another, Lady Knight."

"No, Your Majesty," came Kel's noncommittal reply.

"I get the feeling you really don't like me."

Kel set her fork down and gathered herself before turning to face the king, who was sitting in between her and his wife. "When I first became a page, I had my doubts about you, but I can't very well hold a grudge against someone who is changing a law because of me…" she lowered her eyes then continued, "Nor against someone who helped me face my fears."

A flicker of understanding flashed in the King's eyes, "You're referring to the time I spelled your body so you could descend Balor's Needle. It is to my knowledge that my Lord Wyldon did more for you on that front."

"True," Kel smiled wryly. "I suppose the real matter is: I'm not a child anymore. I understand we can't always get what we want, and I've learned from my station with the refugees and my time as my Lord Raoul's squire; no matter what you do, you'll always be upsetting someone, which makes it only harder to see the right decision and then make it. I respect the fact that both of Your Majesties are making an honest effort to rule the kingdom as fairly as possible."

It wasn't the first time Kel had spoken directly to the King, which put her somewhat at ease; although it was decidedly the first time the pair had had a real one-on-one encounter, albeit with other people present. Nothing she said was impolite, and King Jonathan was clearly trying to de normal with her.

Perhaps he wasn't the King right now, nor was Thayet the Queen—they were just a husband and a wife, taking the time to enjoy breakfast with a couple of their friends on their last morning of singleness. Even if that made Kel a fifth wheel, she decided she didn't want to have to be so on guard – she was on leave, after all – so she relaxed a bit and attempted to see yet another facet of her former knight master's complex friend.

Jonathan seemed taken aback at her words, but then he smoothed his expression and offered an ironic grin, "If only the conservatives came around so easily and without constant prodding and compromise."

Kel laughed in response, "I don't know, Sire. My Lord Wyldon saw the right of things on his own, eventually." The others had already dropped of their own conversation when they heard Jonathan mention politics; now they – and Jonathan – stared at Keladry slack-jawed, in utter shock.

Thayet shook her head and pointed a finger at her husband, "Jon, we discussed this, no political matters today or tomorrow." Her gaze drifted back to Kel, "You really see no fault with that man, do you?"

"He's a good knight," Kel said defensively, "And he taught us a lot in a short amount of time." She scowled when the four rolled their eyes at her.

Thayet spoke again, "I don't dispute Wyldon's success rate, but if that's the kind of knight you idolize, then what made you want to be a knight, Kel?"

"I wanted to help people who can't help themselves," the answer came automatically. "When my mother saved the sacred Yamani swords, I knew I wanted that one day: to face down those who would take advantage of the weak, and make them think twice before striking against the defenseless."

"But there's more to it than that, isn't there?" Astonishingly, it was Jonathan who asked it of her.

Kel gulped loudly and looked out the window. She'd told her mother what she was about to tell them, but she hadn't told her it was part of the reason she became a knight. The only thing giving her the courage to tell these four was that Buri and Raoul had known her for years, as had Thayet; and by accepting her shield, Kel had pledged fealty to the two monarchs, she supposed they had the right to know what drove the servants of the Crown.

Steeling herself with a final breath, Kel finally spoke, "Please don't interrupt me, I won't be able to finish if you do." Only after they had each nodded in turn did Kel pick up where she had left off, "When I was a child, I overheard someone say I was built along the lines of a cow; they were right, but that didn't stop my mother from unleashing her wrath.

"I knew from a young age I would never fetch a good husband, I could do my family no honor at convent. And I wanted to do something with my weapons training from the Isles; so I decided to become a knight. I knew I wouldn't be particularly famous, but I figured I could do enough good to earn some money for my family.

"Being presented at court would have been pointless and becoming a knight was the solution to everything I wanted. Here, in this warzone where I have to be strong for others, my size and stature are attributes not disadvantages. Having my shield opens up the world for me, there are so many more possibilities for the direction my life can take; I'm not bound by the rules of a court that will never accept me." Kel fell silent and, rather than face the others, resumed her meal.

And it was a good thing she did, had she seen the pity and consternation in their eyes, Kel would have lost every shred of her Yamani calm. None of them knew how to broach the matter, how to respond to her words at all; no one except Buri, that is.

The K'miri woman snorted in derision, "Since when do you let others define you, Kel? You're more than words, more than anyone else's opinion of you. Don't allow somebody else's close-minded thinking affect how you view yourself."

Not for the first time, Kel was thankful for the stubborn woman's words, and her refusal to let Kel wallow. She raised her head from her breakfast and smiled gratefully. "I said that's one of the big reasons I became decided to become a knight, but I let go of those thoughts some time ago. If there's one thing I've learned in the past eight years, it's that you can't lose hope; no matter how bleak life seems or how cruel some villains can be, hope will see you through.

"I never gave up on the idea of marriage and a family of my own, I just knew I couldn't go chasing after it; I'm focused on my work right now, but if love comes my way, I'll embrace it, not because someone out there thinks I should settle for the first man to show remote interest, but because time is precious and scarce, and I don't to waste any more of my life regretting or 'what ifing'."

Raoul beamed at his former student; he was glad he didn't need to knock some sense into her, but he did think he should have a talk with her about self-image; despite her words he had the nagging suspicion that Kel did not see herself very clearly. He knew her well enough to know she desperately wanted a topic change, though, so he obliged and asked Jonathan what part he and Thayet planned to play in the wedding, leaving thoughts of another lesson for his young friend to a later time.

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><p>Neal woke slowly, savoring the light warmth of the late summer sun on his skin and the feel of his betrothed's cheek resting on his chest. He couldn't wait to officially start his life with her, but he knew he couldn't – not yet, at least. Not when his best friend was hurting so bad. And he knew that she was, for Yuki had told him what they'd discussed the previous night.<p>

He knew Kel was unhappy and that she barely realized it herself. He felt Yuki stir and ventured to ask her her thoughts on the matter, "Yuki, love. Do you think we can help her?" Neal didn't need to explain further, Yukimi knew who he was referring to.

"Yes, we can. It will take some doing, though. We need to gently guide her toward someone who will expose her heart, someone who will love every piece of her." She hadn't told her betrothed that his best friend was in love with his cousin or that she suspected the feelings were not unreciprocated, nor did she plan on it. Much as she hated keeping secrets from her future husband, Yuki knew Kel and Dom needed time to sort their relationship out on their own, without the well-meaning influence and interference of their many friends.

"Who do you think that might be? Do you think Kel will end up with a Yamani? I know she still feels more at home sipping green tea and hiding her face behind a dratted fan than she does here in the land of her birth."

Yuki pulled away from him and lifted herself on her elbows to stare accusingly at him, "Are you insulting my culture, _dear_?" Her slanted almond eyes glinted dangerously.

"No! Of course not. I just meant… she's not in the Yamani Islands anymore, Yuki. I'm sure she'll make visits when she has the time, but she'll always _live_ in Tortall. This is her home now, but her heart still belongs at least partially to your ancient and refined culture. I just thought that, perhaps, Kel would like to have stoic warrior babies born with a glaive in each hand."

Yukimi reached over to the nightstand to grab her _shukusen_ and rap her husband-to-be on the top of his head. "I'm certain Kel desires a barbaric Eastern man whose mother she will not have to slave to for the rest of her life."

Neal thought better of his next remark and changed his words at the last possible moment, "That is a fair point, my Yamani blossom." Deciding he didn't want to risk angering her further, and that they really had spent far too much time thinking of another woman first thing in the morning, Neal leaned over and kissed her long and hard, effectively ending all lines of verbal communication.

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><p>Kel left Raoul and Buri's rooms a few hours prior to midday, just in time to be intercepted by a courier on her way back to her own room. The thin man spared no words on her past the name of the senders and the date of the letter's departure from her home fief before racing off to find the recipient of his last parcel.<p>

She frowned at the think envelope, wondering just what could be its contents, as she meandered into the building, up the stairs, and over to her room. She placed it on her desk, she had no time for it now; she had received a note from Alanna during breakfast requesting a friendly duel.

Kel grabbed Griffin, a present from Alanna when Kel had earned her shield, and headed over to the practice courts. She knew she would lose the challenge, but she still gave it her all. In the end, Kel's predictions were right and the older knight won; they had only a brief moment to clasp hands and exchange a few words before they were approached by Kel's basilisk teacher on the ways of immortals.

Tkaa pulled Alanna aside to impart some news that drained her face. The violet-eyed knight stalked away without another word. Kel shrugged it off and returned to her rooms to bathe before lunch.

The rest of her day passed uneventfully, she reviewed applications for some potential candidates for the Own that Raoul had given her earlier, spent time with Tobe and her animals, and dined with Dom's squad. It wasn't until her blond servant retired for the night that Kel permitted herself to open the letter. And even then, it took her hours to successfully read through it all.

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><p>As the night grew dark, Jonathan and Thayet made their way over to their friends' rooms and pulled them from their private dinner. Buri and Raoul groaned to each other as they realized what was happening; Jon led Raoul to the Own's barracks where he would spend his last night of bachelordom with his men, and Thayet bade Buri to the rooms she shared with her husband, directing her long-time friend to the bed in the adjoining room.<p>

As Thayet turned to cross the doorway back into her own room, Buri called her name softly. The Queen spun only her head around and raised a fine brow.

The K'mir beckoned to her with a serious expression, causing Thayet to repress her sigh and any thought of joining her husband in bed. "What's the matter, Buri?"

Buri looked up into her eyes with a slightly scared expression, "Am I making a mistake here? Should I be marrying him?"

"No. Yes," Thayet smiled warmly at her; pre-wedding jitters were perfectly natural although somewhat unlike her friend. "You two are perfect for each other, and there's literally no valid reason for you to put this off any longer. You love one another, and… and I want to see my best friend as happily wedded as I am."

Buri smiled back her, her fears laid to rest, and the women parted for the evening. The K'miri woman fell asleep to pleasant dreams of the transformation to her life that the next day would bring.

* * *

><p>AN: Before you come after me with pitchforks for making Domitan a virgin, let me explain. Please?

Though Pierce pens Dom as a flirt (and I personally think most of the Own have to be ladies' men, given the nature of their career), we're never given any canon material of a single relationship (or even fling) of Dom's. We are, however, told of the similarities Kel finds between his personality and his cousin's. I think that both Dom and Neal are the type to flirt with (or write unsent poetry to) many women, but when it comes to an actual relationship, those two are for real; it has to be special for them.

I really don't see this man as the type to sleep around. I'm not judging anyone and I'm not letting my personal lifestyle choices influence this piece of work, I just don't believe Kel is capable of falling for a man who doesn't take relationships seriously. Daine and Alanna were with men who had a fair share of experience, and that's alright for the both of them; but Kel thoroughly believes in chivalry and all that it means to be a true knight (or soldier) of the realm - on a very deep emotional/psychological level, Keladry needs to be with a man who shares her stark values (it can only be a bonus that Dom is so humorous and can mellow her out somewhat).

Next order of business: I know I said all the scenes before the wedding would be here, but this bit just got too long. So, I'm doing something weird: the beginning of the next chapter will be a rewind from the close of Chapter 4 Part B to the end of Dom's interrogation scene. Conversations and happenings previously unmentioned will occur throughout the day. At least a third of the next chapter will probably be pre-Wedding Day scenes. But, rejoice! for, no matter how long it gets, the next chapter WILL be the end of Tuesday and include ALL of the wedding (which happens on Wednesday). I planned out the days of the week for these chapters simply because Pierce said Kel gets a full week off, so I needed to make sure I didn't under- or over-plan the schedule.

On another note, you're all probably wondering why Raoul and Buri didn't have Bachelor's and Bachelorette's parties, respectively. From what we've seen of Buri's character throughout the three series, I think she never really belonged in Tortall; what I mean to say is: Buri found her place with the Riders and carved out a nice life for herself, but she had no one to fill her heart. Despite her chilled - not cold - feet, I think she's ecstatic to be tying the knot. As for Raoul, he's been a bachelor for over thirty years (I'm not certain of his exact age) and he's spent over a decade of those years riding around with a bunch of men who are all single men avoiding matchmaking mothers with young daughters; well, Buri is not a young daughter and has no matchmaking mother and Raoul knows she's right for him...he is in no way sad to leave his bachelorhood behind him. He's more than ready to start settling down after years of watching his friends (even Alanna) marry and have children; it's finally his turn, and he still gets to keep his career.

On Kel and Alanna's duel: I cannot for the life of me remember where exactly in the timeline of things this scene from _Trickster's Choice_ takes place, but I think I remember it occurring at Steadfast. I didn't want this story to focus on the points where it connects with TP's other books, but I didn't want to leave out canon material (and since each chapter is longer than the previous, I try to set a word limit for myself so as not to make things more difficult for myself in the future) so I threw it in here (without really doing into detail), since I had all the necessary characters waiting around for me.

Rdr-Wrtr

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><p>And now, what you have all been waiting for: the title's explanation!<p>

Chapter 4's title, Scrutiny, comes from the uncomfortably personal attention certain characters receive in both parts of the chapter. Part B gets its subtitle from the running leitmotif of change. So many of the characters' lives are experiencing alterations. And really, change is the theme of life itself. And yes, I did just throw in Buri's last thoughts before sleeping to sort of tie it all in together; I am not ashamed of plot devices.

There's more significance to the title, but I'm going to wait until several chapters later to finish the explanation, and here's why: I eventually want to get to the point where you all guess the meanings in reviews, and then I later replace the chapter with an edited version that includes the explanation; also, perhaps some of you may have already guessed this, but, the themes from these first few chapters will be recurring throughout the fic. Whenever I upload a chapter that continues an earlier motif, I'll include the original explanation, and then I'll expound upon it.

I just want to reiterate the fact that I'm not just doing this fic simply to deliver the Kel/Dom we all so desperately desire (although that is a huge part of it), but also so that I can develop my writing skills. I really want to get published one day. The first step to that is finishing at least one manuscript; only problem is, I'm not confident enough in my ability to fully develop plot, characters, and setting to create a polished, streamlined document of my musings. SO, on that note. please read AND review. I thoroughly enjoy feedback, and if there's a problem with the story, I more than likely won't know until one of you points it out to me.

* * *

><p>So, I realize my edited update yesterday was a bit harsh and I apologize for the misrepresentation of the update (I didn't mean to make you think that chapter 5 had been added); I <em>have<em> seen an increase in views and visitors over the past month, so I want to express my gratitude for all you readers.

However, this fic is more than just a story for me - it is a study in writing. I'm not fishing for compliments by asking for reviews, I want to know how I can improve.

And, honsetly, I _know_ certain parts have to be bugging you readers (after all, in particular, I _wrote_ the dialogue for Part A and for the second scene of Part B and I still hate it...). I'm more than open to constructive criticism and any stylistic suggestions you all might have - if anyone thinks a scene or dialogue should be changed, please let me know.

Rdr-Wrtr


	6. Not Chapter 5, But Important

**A/N:** Alright, alright. I have some explaining to do. First off, sorry to anyone who thought this was a new chapter! :'( I'm not _trying_ to lead you on. But, I want to let you know, a new chapter(s) will be up sometime in the next couple months.

Part of the reason I've been away so long: I'm a university student working towards dual bachelor's degrees and triple majors at the University of Pittsburgh. And on top of that, I work, I participate in religious activities, I have dozens of shows I'm trying to keep up with, I'm finding more and more new novels/series to read, and I'm trying to write my OWN novels in my (limited) spare time.

I'm sorry to say it, but keeping up with my fanfiction has had to be put on the back burner. But I haven't forgotten about Kel&Dom, and I haven't forgotten about all of you. Oddly enough, though I rarely get the chance to pen new chapters for this, I never go more than a few days without thinking of/adding to the general outline I have planned for this fic.

I think I've made all the necessary apologies, so here's one final bit of business. In the interest of returning to this fic as soon as possible, I need to make some serious headway in my personal writing. I think I've got a good thing going with my most current novel project. But I need feedback and opinions. So, I'm thinking of doing a few polls over the next few weeks. These polls will be designed mainly to help choose information for character backgrounds and names. Submit a review to Chapter 6/AN of this fic if you'd be interested in participating in these polls. Remember, the sooner I make significant progress on my novels, the sooner I return to _A Time of Peace_ (and I already have chunks of the next few chapters written).

Once again, I'd like to apologize for the delay...Please bear with me!

Rdr-Wrtr


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